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What is the best advice to give my son when he is beginning to choose friends in school?

My 5 year old son will be beginning kindergarten in about a week; and I wonder if there is some way to assist him in making good choices- regarding with whom he spends free time. I want him to be around positive influences and nice children; since I think if he met a bully, or some child that is very rude... he would be crying and would avoid going to school. (He's very sensitive like his Mom!!)

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Asked by Bostonsbest at 6:59 PM on Sep. 2, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 11 (630 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Honestly I don't think there is much you can do, they're just atracted to who they are attracted to. At that age it is usually encouraged that all kids are friends. At the age kids are just learning how the social world works, so they will all make mistakes, I would just sit back and let him enjoy the experience.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 7:07 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Thanks -skittles1108! I'll try to let him explore on his own; it's just SO HARD not to worry!! :-o


    Comment by Bostonsbest (original poster) at 7:12 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • i tell my son to be nice to everyone and play with not exclude anybody from playing if they want to play or make friends

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:16 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I agree with the above...there isn't much you can do. Its not like at that age they've figured out social skills and stuff like that. They don't know how to put on an act to please people or how to intimidate (unless they see things like violence used to get what they want). I'm sure he'll be fine.

    Answer by erinwhitt at 7:17 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I agree with skittles1108 in as much as you can't really control who they will be attracted to. But you can steer who they have play dates with, over nights with, etc. Relax and enjoy for now.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:19 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Thanks ladies! One less subject to worry about!!


    Comment by Bostonsbest (original poster) at 7:27 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I don't think you can help him choose his friends, but I do believe you can encourage him to stand up for his values. If he is always kind he won't pick a bully to be his best friend. Over the years, my kids have chosen good and bad friends and while I wanted to jump in and say NO NO NO, I had to let them make their own mistakes. It worked out well, in college they have incredible friends! Good Luck to you!

    Answer by MomIWant at 8:12 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • You want him to learn to make wise choices, I understand. He'll make good choices and he'll make mistakes - and he'll learn from his mistakes. Don't try to choose his friends for him. He'll learn.

    The best advice? Be kind to everyone.

    Answer by caseyandkids at 10:02 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • With our kids, we make sure that we encourage the friendships with the kids that we approve of and we tell them when they have made good choices. We don't tell them 'you can't be friends with so &so', but they will never be allowed to go to 'so &so's' house and he won't be allowed to ours. We can't control who they talk to at school, but we can control who they see outside of school.
    But as a whole our kids have made good choices and they figure out who the bad seeds are for themselves. We also remind them that even though they may not like someone that they still have to be kind to them.

    Answer by slw123 at 12:59 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Encourage him to play with everyone and eventually, he will pick the friends that he plays best with. It's nice that it's still that easy to find friends, at that age.

    Answer by Pnukey at 5:31 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

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