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what intitlements does a non-marital father have to my daughter

had court today, and am really afraid of losing my daughter or even having to subject her to "his" environment...we have all made un-repairable bad judgements.....I would really prefer him not to be in her life at all and the only reason he's persuing it now is because the state required him to begin child support...I didn't ask for anything because for 5 years he's had absolutely nothing to offer he lived with my mom and I and she provided everything now he sleeps on the couch at his cousins house no money, no car, no phone, I did work hard to get him enrolled into the tech program for welding but he only went cause I go there. I still attend college, work parttime weekends, have a car, phone, live with a supportive mom and grandma and my daughter is a very happy,well rounded, smart, very smart, and loved child.....I want to keep it that way.....not ever subjected to negative surroundings, environment is age appropiate.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (13)
  • If he is her bio-father, he is allowed visitation. Just because you weren't married doesn't mean anything.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:10 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • He has the same rights you do.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 11:11 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I had same situation almost! If you signed a paper agreeing hes the father than he is now lagitimized. If you did not want him around u should not have asked for child support. Chances are he wont actually put effort and at that point you can file a contempt order for not getting the child like hes suppose to and show the court that he is only disrupting the childs life by being there when he feels like it and if hes going to be in the childs life it needs to be full commitment or none at all. If you offer to wave the child support he may sign over the rights that he now has. /but by doing that you are fully responsible for your child on your own and the child will not be able to collect ssi(if bio dad passes), back child support, or any inheritence from bio dad or bio dads relatives! Some states mandate that in order for bio dad to give up rights & pay no support than there must be a adoptive dad. Good luck

    Answer by mymestey at 11:20 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Depends on the state.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 11:48 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • He has every right to be in her life, just like you do.

    Answer by getrealmama at 1:38 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • He has the same rights you do.

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 9:24 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • He has all the same rights as you. You may not want her in his world.....but a judge will never side with you . If he is abusive directly to her then a judge will consider no visitation, limited visits, or supervised visits. Other than that.....she IS equally his child. Any time you get all emotional in court and start saying what a bad person he is - likely to backfire. I just read national stats and men are more likely to get what they want in court when a woman alledges abuse. So if I were you I would play it as you are willing to share: most likely a judge would say, okay mom is being reasonable so dad can have her every other weekend. But if you come across as a bitch you just screwed yourself.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:33 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • When your not married a man has the right to pay child support and the mother calls the shots. I do know this for a fact! from personal history. The judge looks at the one who has given the most care to the child and who has the best home for the child. your babies father has no home to call his own so it should be alot tougher for him to take the little girl away from you.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 9:30 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • marriage doesn't matter, he was the sperm provider, as such has certain rights if he wishes them

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:56 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • thank-you all for your advice I did research it and spoke to a lawyer, and "wheresthewayout" hit it on the nose.....although his name is on the birth certificate, which only provides paternity, and he does have to pay child support,which the state is adiment about, I have sole custody and call the shot's. I printed the article from a website I found, my mom got me an appointment with legal aid and .......I am home free.....I am sorry to all the ones who posted that seem like they may be on the other shoe and are hurt by women who fall into my catigory but.....Thats why the song goes, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage.....I didn't put him on child support and won't pursue it, the state did. I am not a cold hearted bitch he left me when I was 7-8 months preg, moved to another state,. gave me STD's, and moved back when she turned 1 only, it seemed because we were doing fine without him.

    Answer by lovebug434 at 12:19 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

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