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How did you know you were done?

So, it is way too soon to be thinking about another baby, but I am. I feel so undecided. We have three girls. The last is only three and a half months old and I've decided not to make a final decision until she's a year old. The others are 4 and 2. I really thought we were done. I gave away my maternity clothes, but I keep thinking about how great a big family is, etc. My husband just says "I don't know." How did you know you had had your last kid? Do you wish you'd have had more or fewer?

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Hazelnutkin

Asked by Hazelnutkin at 7:32 AM on Sep. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,126 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I want two more and that's going to make 5. I don't want 4 kids though...I want 5 all of a sudden. I thought I was going to be done after twin boys...but something gave and I wanted another one. The little girl has sooo much character I want 2 more just like her. But economics and lifestyle prevent such an event from happening. I also don't want to take away from her right now. So we are at 3 right now and I want 2 more. I'm so crazy for such thoughts but you are right, a big family is nice.
    mschanng

    Answer by mschanng at 7:37 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Most of it was our ages--I was 33 and my husband was 39 when we became parents for the first time, and we wanted to be able to "get back to life" with our children, and not be saddled with baby after baby.

    We wanted 2 children MAYBE 3, we wanted boys (which we got), but later both were diagnosed with autism (which we did not want) and that curbed our need to have more due to the care required, the fact that we do not have family near us to help, and we felt we could only give 100% of ourselves to two children.

    Conventional therapies are more often than not rejected by private medical insurance plans (or severely limited if covered--like 6-12 speech sessions per year). And the free state insurance they were eligible for BECAUSE of their dx's, was extremely limited, and the quality was poor, so we rejected them!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:43 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • we wanted two but got five, three girls and twin sons we wanted one more after our youngest dd but we gt double the pleasere with twins. we kne we were done after our sons were here . now I am glad we stoped ecause three of our angels have a two rare disorders andi hve to stay on top of things. and try to educate people about this.
    butterflysmom

    Answer by butterflysmom at 7:50 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Idk If we are done or not. Its out of my control.... We only have one son, & I always very lucky to have him.. So Im not pushing the issue. If its in the cards for more, Im not stopping it from happening. BUt Im not going to stress about it either.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 8:04 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I had two....and I ask this SAME question for several years. Even said "we are done" gave away everything maternity and baby that I ever owned. But that question still lingered in my mind every so often.

    So....we are pregnant with #3....and now I KNOW WE ARE DONE! No lingering questions at all!!!

    I think if you have to keep asking yourself over and over....and you say "I dont know" then that means YES

    When you are done. You KNOW you are done, no questions asked, no "I dont knows"
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:08 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I have 2 boys I always said 2 was enough for me. I wanted a boy and girl but got 2 boys instead who I love to pieces. So after the second one was born I had my tubes tied that was enough for me.
    dlshaner

    Answer by dlshaner at 8:12 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I knew before we started having kids that I only wanted 2, and DH said that it was up to me.
    CaLizzyMom

    Answer by CaLizzyMom at 8:56 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I was 42 when I had my last baby. (she's now 3) I developed H.E.L.L.P. syndrome & almost died. Had to have an emerg c-sect at 23 weeks & my Dr. said I would not survive another pregnancy. That, along with my age determined that we were done, although I would love to have had at least one more.
    ghostwriter777

    Answer by ghostwriter777 at 8:59 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I'm pregnant now with my third baby and this will be my last. I wanted to be a young mom so that I could enjoy life with my children. If I keep having babies I won't get to really enjoy the ones I already have like I want to.
    reigndrops12689

    Answer by reigndrops12689 at 9:21 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • When I became pregnant with my second a feeling washed over me and I knew I was done. I was adament about it. After she was born I started questioning and soon became pregnant with my third baby. Sitting here right now the thought of a fourth makes me want to run far, far away. I have no desire to have another child and I'm even more adament now then ever. I will be getting snipped or hubby will after this baby is born.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:37 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

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