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I'm still a little worried

My boyfriend whose wife of 25 years betrayed him by having an affair and then leaving him for a friend of the family - asked him recently if he could be friends with her. He said no but said it does make him feel good to speak now and then with her reminiscing about the (now grown) kids. Then - she sent him a card on Yom Kippur "atoning" and apologizing for hurting him.

I've been with him for 2 years. We have a wonderful relationship but I can't help but wonder if he is having reason to pause and consider what it would be like to go back to her. Or if it just feels good that she is reaching out to him.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Oct. 12, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • My parents divorced when I was 12 years old after 27 years of marriage. They never spoke to each other again until my Dad got cancer when I was 38 years old. They both moved into my home and she took care of him. Today they are not in love with each other but my Grandchildren were the first people to have their picture taken with both of my parents in 26 years. That was a wonderful feeling for me after all the years of hating one another.
    As long as they are not sneaking around I would not worry. They have a history but it does not mean they plan to have a future together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • He's with you because he wants to be there. He simply has a few good memories with her and the kids. I wouldn't get them confused. If he wanted her he'd be with her. The man doesnt' even want to be her friend. That says a lot. Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. He'll let you know if he wanted to go back with her. As long as he feels welcome with you why would he want to leave?

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:39 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • he won't forget completely his ex wife especially after that long of marriage. he probably feels both but i wouldn't worry.

    Answer by melody77 at 5:21 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

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