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his parents are in the way

me and my bf have been together for a little over 2years and have a daughter together. he lives at home and his parents are preventing him from spending time with me and his daughter, he does get her for the weekends everyonce in a while but they all come to the house to pick her up so we cant even talk then. im afraid that if things dont change soon either him or me will miss out on her first holidays and then our relationship will fall apart. hes afraid to standup to his parents because he thinks they will kick him out and take away his college money but if he stays with them our relationship will turn nonexsitance. i dont know what to do, all i know is that i cant live like this much longer. please help!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Oct. 12, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I suggest giving the parents two choices. Let me and my daughter be with the man and father we so much want to be with, Or I will have to get full custody of my daughter and seek out childsupport.... I thinks its dumb of them to keep you two apart. but in all reality they sound really selfish and you probably should just move on with your daughter. its not like he or they are really helping you, at least thats what I get from what I read.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 4:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • ...WELCOME TO LIFE WITH IN LAWS.....IF YOU GUYS DO WORK OUT WILL HIS PARENTS STILL BE A PROBLEM, TAKE IT FROM ME TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL AND LEAVE IT ALONE IF IT BECOMES TOO MUCH YOU HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE ON WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU...
    MOCHAMOMME

    Answer by MOCHAMOMME at 4:20 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • time for your bf to be a man and quit depending on mommy and daddy
    teri4lance

    Answer by teri4lance at 4:35 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • i like what soonmommyof3 said. but add on that if you have to get full custody then they can't see their grandchild. see what they say then!
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 4:39 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • No offense but it sounds like your relationship is pretty much non existent now. You mentioned all that you don't have together. What do you have together? It doesn't sound positive and certainly doesn't sound like his parents are supportive of him being in a relationship with you. After college then he'll worry they will cut him out of the will. It will always be something. You might consider living a life with him only as bd and not as someone who'll be there for you. His parents might also be pushing him to see women they approve of so you really don't know what's going on in his life at home. Sorry but it just doesn't sound like it has a foundation for a solid relationship even in the future.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:45 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I agree with teri4lance
    Time for him to grow up and be a man Why don't you live together? Maybe you both have some growing up to do? Maybe he is just using the parents as an excuse? I guess what I am not understanding is if you are "together" why he needs to pick up the baby and visit with her at their house?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I don't think you have much control or ability to change anything in this situation. If you stop letting him have the child voluntarily, then there will likely be court action. It sounds like you are going to have to let this play out or risk a nasty court battle and risk ending up on the losing end. He is dependent on them for financial help and he's not going to risk losing that. I think you are stuck.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:48 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • i doubt they want their son to be a loser and take his college fund from him. he is using them as an excuse ti not really spend time with you or his daughter. some men don't bond well with their kids and don't care that they never spend time with them. i think he likes how things are and just can't admit it to you. so ask him straight up and if he says that that's not true then say well then lets go talk to your family now and straightened this out.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 5:18 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I think he needs to get out on his own. If they do take his college fund, why can't he work a job too, and apply for a student loan?? There are other ways to go to college besides having mommy and daddy pay for it. My BF went to college and he got loans to pay for it. Yeah, he'll have to pay it back after he's done, but wouldn't that be worth seeing his daugher???
    lilmomma4

    Answer by lilmomma4 at 8:21 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I don't get it. If you are bf & gf then why is he taking the baby for visitation? Why aren't you visiting as well. I'm confused.  You talk like your not a couple at all. Do you still date? Custody? Not sounding like a happy place to be. I have never heard of a couple ever having the parent having that kind of control over a relationship. Except in 3rd world arranged marriages.

    Soquelkat

    Answer by Soquelkat at 9:21 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

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