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What's a mother to do?

My DD is 16 and 1/2. She was the "good" kid of my children, responsible, good grades etc. Last night she got caught stealing condoms and a pregnancy test from a local store. Not prosecuting her due to dollar amount, she got lucky. BUT, I find out she has been lying to me. When she tells me she is at the quary swimming with friends she is actually having sex with a 21 yr old who is the friend of her friends boyfriend. She is hardly ever out of my sight! I am broken hearted. So glad it all came to light before she is pregnant etc...but I just don't even know who she is. Naturally I took her phone, she is grounded for life at this point...any advice here? We were always so close...now there is this huge rift and I don't know where to begin. Where did I go wrong? What do I do now? How do I help her stop the lying and the promiscuity? She is so smart, has so much going for her. I just want my daughter back!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (4)
  • Now obviously I don't live in your house but I'm pretty sure you didn't do anything wrong. I was that age once, and I rebelled against my parents, too -- peer pressure is tremendous these days. Just keep talking to her! Find out why she did what she did. Try your best to be supportive and a good listener. Hopefully she'll open up to you and talk about stuff that's going on. I wish my mom would have made the effort to talk to me when the crap first hit the fan during my teen years, but instead she told me what a terrible child I was!
    GL Momma.
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 9:52 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I agree with MommaofH2, I totally feel communication is the best way to sort things out. I know when I lost my Dad, i had my whole family go to counseling, as I had a hard time dealing with his death. I was once a shallow minded person thinking that anyone who went to counseling was not a strong person.....BOY WAS I SHALLOW back then. Now as I'm living my life to the fullest, I truly believe counseling was the best answer for our family. Start talking with your daughter more and be open minded....she might have a lot going on that she isn't willing to share. Be a good listener and offer helpful advise.
    Ittgal

    Answer by Ittgal at 10:00 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • this is a tough one, have you ever talked to her about sex? do you know any girls that are like 18 or older that would talk to her about sex? about diezes? about guys and how they come and go?... when i was younger i lost my virginity when i was 13 and if my mom payed more attention she wouldnt have just put me on birthcontrol, i wish she found someone that i looked up to, to talk to me about sex and desizes you can get, honestly i hadnt found out that you can get diezes from sex that can ruin your life and possibly dye from till two years ago, im 22! i know thats horrible, as for the stealing when i was 13 i stole a box of 50 condoms, thongs, and a sperm keychain. i didnt get charged for it but i did have to go to a class for stealing and stand up in front of everyone and say everything i stole! i was so embarresed i promis you i havnt stole since!
    MommieOfOnly2

    Answer by MommieOfOnly2 at 10:05 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Try open and honest conversation. If you yell at her and judge her for this she will never open up about it and talk to you. I personally never did anything like that, but my mom always told me that if anything ever happened and I ended up pregnant that I could tell her and she wouldn't kick me out of the house or anything like that. (she'd been watching too many lifetime movies) It really helped me to respect my mom and be able to talk to her about things.
    Thats my goal with my daughters, so that they know they can talk to me about anything.
    mrspierce06

    Answer by mrspierce06 at 10:23 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

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