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3 Bumps

ok so i have another question about how my husband acts... adult content

ok first of all for the past 4 days he has been asking me to have sex, and i have no desire to have sex at all cuz of all the stuff that has been goin on w/ us. and this morning i walked in on him looking st porn which was ok , so i walked back outside and he got mad at me. i get that he wants to have it but first of all there were so many times that i wanted to and we didnt and he was trying to make me eel bad for that. ok so after like he 5th time he asked me he got back on the comp and asked me if i had ever been to adultfriendfinder.com , he said he was goin to go get what he wanted. i just sat there and didnt say nething, i mean what kinda guy does that trying to scare me into having sex w/ him. then he started tellin me that i dont love right and im so f ed up this stuff please tell me if im wrong - but hes the 1 who is in the wrong right? telling me that i dont love and care about him cuz we didnt have sex?

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mamasmurf171

Asked by mamasmurf171 at 9:51 AM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (973 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • There is no way that your husband should be treating you this way about sex. Honestly, if you have no sexual drive at all where he is concerned, I would be looking into counseling. I would also tell him that he was going about trying to get me to want him in the exact opposite way that he should be!
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 9:54 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Wow he sounds abusive. And controlling. You shouldn't feel forced or obligated to have sex. Now, if you are withholding sex out of spite for something minor, that's different, but from what you've described, you are just not in the mood.
    If he's pretty much telling you he's going to cheat on you, it's time to go your separate ways or go to counseling.
    GL momma
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 9:54 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • He's getting desperate. Trying to make you understand how you're making him feel. He needs sex from you. He kinda sounds like a woman who is screaming for attention actually.
    Of course he's an a-hole if he would actually go on friendfinder and cheat but what I think he's really doing is letting you know how much not having sex is affecting him.

    My hubby and I aren't too happy right now either - so I know what you are saying about not wanting to have sex - but I still do and believe itor not it makes things better. At least for awhile.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:57 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • If you do not want sex, you have the right to say NO and he needs to respect that. He is acting like an immature jerk and trying to 'do back' (with his mean comments) and hurt you cause he is not getting his own way! I think he needs to "man-up" and stop acting like a spoilt brat! It sounds like there are issues going on and he should skip the sex and apply himself to working on the marriage and working out what is wrong--- not trying to scare you and pressure you into sex. I hope everything works out!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:02 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I agree with the others PP's. This is metal abuse. He is pretty much threatening you. I think i would honestly bipass counsiling if this is the kind of man he is and just hit the bricks.
    wildwiccan83

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 10:02 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • yeah thats not right. you're his wife not sex toy. just know that if you dont give it to him he will go beyond porn and start an affair cause he's buildin his case now. i disagree with what he's doin to you but he will get sex from someone and you.becareful
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 10:03 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Honestly....if i were in your situation, I would get out. Emotional abuse is very exhausting, and there is no reason why you should have to feel bad about yourself
    BradensMom1026

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 10:04 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • IMO your relationship shouldn't be based on just sex. Which is what it sounds to me like he's trying to make it out to be. If he thinks it is then he needs to go down the road! JMO!
    A little on my story: My boyfriend isn't able to have sex for the next few months as he's having back surgery next week. They are going to fuse his spine. But I'm ok with that, and even if it wasn't surgery related I would still be okay with it, because we love each other with or without sex. We have had this discussion because once the doctor told him no more til after surgery and healing he thought I might go else where. WRONG! I love adam enough that irregaurdless I'm with him for the long haul!
    IMO your s/o should have the same respect for you, if your not in the mood, your not in the mood! He should love you and respect you enough to say ok, end of discussion! Hugs to you!
    momof3xthefun

    Answer by momof3xthefun at 10:21 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • iv been kinda in this situation, i make myself have sex with my boyfriend after having two kids i have no sex drive but i herd and have learnd that GUYS NEED SEX wether he is going to make you give it to him or go somewhere elts at the end of my pregnancy i gave him permition to go have sex with someone he didnt do it but i was fed up with him thinking i was going to give it to him, he cant go to work and focus if we dont have sex once or twice a week, he goes spsyco, i wouldnt be mad at him if he told me if i dont give it to him he is going to cheet on me because atleast he is telling you before he does it, he dont want to cheet on you he just wants sex guys cant live without it... i hope this was helpful!
    MommieOfOnly2

    Answer by MommieOfOnly2 at 10:22 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • he sounds EXTREMELY manipulative, please keep watch for signs of emotional abuse (I worked for the center against domestic violence) don't have sex with him if you don't want to. You shouldn't have to worry about him lookiong for what he's lacking outside of marriage. If its a healthy relationship, he should talk to you about whats really going on, not blame and manipulate. (I'm not in a healthy relationship either, I'm not a high and mighty preaching to you, I just think everyone deserves to be treated right)
    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 10:23 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

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