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My 21month old son has horrible separation anxiety. so bad until he throws up. I need some serious help to make it easier on him (and me). It makes me feel like a super bad parent letting cry that way but i have to. I feel so bad that I cry the whole way to work. When I go to pick him up he is like a monkey all over again. Just like yesterday I carried him with me to get my hair cut and he wouldn’t even put his feet on the floor until he saw me sit down. Its not that I leave him a lot because we are always together. He wont even stay with his father unless I trick into thinking I’m going to too. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that he loves me like that but I need a way to help him let go. PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

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Asked by konnorsmama at 11:31 AM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 6 (106 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • i would avoid using any tricks to get him to do stuff or stay places... He needs to learn that he can trust you

    Answer by elizabiza at 11:33 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • How can i leave him then he knows i will come back i only leave him once a day at daycare. what would you do elizabiza

    Comment by konnorsmama (original poster) at 11:35 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • i know a few kids like that, its cus you dont leave his side allot, there really isnt much you can do, my friends kid wont get off her lap, she puts her daughter down and sits on the couch her daughter will sit there and scream mommie i want you i want you and just wont quit even when my friend picks her up! its annoing but there isnt much you can do, i tell my son goodbye before i drop him off somewhere then i dont say by i just run out when he isnt looking he dont miss me because i dont make it a big deal im not there... mabe ask your babysitter to sit with him and read him a book to destract him and run out without him seeing you leve thats what my friend had to do when i watched her kid, her daughter stopped screaming for her!

    Answer by MommieOfOnly2 at 11:40 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • i have done what i do with my son since he was born so he is so used to me not saying by and im going to miss him right before i leave i do trick him when i sneek out but he dont miss me or cry for me so its easier on my babysitter

    Answer by MommieOfOnly2 at 11:42 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Does he have something of yours he can have with him during the day? (and will daycare allow it?) Like a scarf or handkerchief......anything that is yours. If you wear a cologne you could put a dab on it maybe?

    This phase is temporary and, although painful, every child gets through it. Stay confident that you are doing what you need to do and you both will get through it. Best wishes.

    Answer by elizabr at 11:43 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • the daycare he is at wont let him have anything from home =/ but it sounds dumb but we have matching mother son bracelets and he does get to have that (it don’t really help much). I would love to take his off but he wont let me lol.

    Comment by konnorsmama (original poster) at 11:57 AM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • the bracelets are a great idea. Talk about it often and what it means to you and how it reminds you of each other.

    Answer by elizabr at 12:03 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • It's so sweet how much they love mommy, but I know it can be hard on you! But I've been told that it peaks between 1-2 years and then slowly ends. Keep trying to expose him to other caregivers (dad, babysitter, etc.) Let him see you sit there and talk with the other person so he realizes that you "approve" of this other person (while he clings to your neck if necessary - go ahead and hold him tight so he feels secure.) Do you have regular playdates with other kids/moms or go to story time in the library? I think this has really helped my son get comfortable around others, though of course he still needs occasional snuggles in mommy's lap and he still cries whenever I leave. Try regular exposure so he gets really familiar with a person or place - ie: let him spend a bit of time every day with your mom or babysitter or at the daycare at the gym, and slowly start leaving for longer and longer times. Good luck!

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 12:05 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Will his daycare hang a picture of you and him on the wall so that when he misses you they can take him over to look at it. sometimes that helps.

    Answer by Kword at 4:14 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • yeah they have pictures he just points and cries mommy (so they say)

    Comment by konnorsmama (original poster) at 4:20 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

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