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5 Bumps

Is it common to check into adoption for your unborn baby and then change your mind close to birth or after the baby is born?

Why did you decide to keep the baby? If you didn't keep the baby, did you regret your decision later or did you feel the same way as before the baby was born?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Yes it is very normal for people to change their mind when considering adoption. It's a very difficult decision to make. Some Birthparents don't want to really think about all of the emotion and heartbreak that's involved in their choice. I'm an AM and watching my sons birthparents go through that was heart wrenching for me and my husband. I really encourage Birthparents to think about it as much as possible before the baby arrives because it's just that much more difficult when they arrive.
    The3Vs

    Answer by The3Vs at 12:50 AM on Sep. 10, 2010

  • When I had my 1st pregnancy I knew keeping my baby wasn't the right thing to do, we had a messed up household but the father would not sign the papers so I had to keep her. Go ahead and bash me for saying this but i have always regretted keeping her..not because of hate but because she was my child and I wanted the very best for her, instead she got turmoil...I know she would have had a wonderful life with a different well adjusted family
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I PLACED (sorry but it's a choice we make, give up just sounds so harsh and a good counselor will tell you that) but i was very sure of my decesion. I knew is was best for him at that time in my life and was in counseling from the time i looked into that option. I also lived in a bitchen home for women who were planning to place their babies for adoption, and worked with an awesome adoption agency in California called the Kinship Center, who provided support group meetings for bith adoptive parents and women planning to place we all sat together in these groups discussing both sides ;). they also have very wonderful counselors there. Til this day i beleive i made the right decesion for a child that desreved the best of the best and a better life that i couldn't give him.
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 12:29 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Of course it is normal. Giving up a child is never a simple situation. There is almost always confusion or regret.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 12:20 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Who ever you are anonymous that answered the question.. that took alot of bravery to say! I just want you to know that!!! Admitting someting like that is hard and it's not wrong for you to say that!
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 12:38 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • like poptart, i have never been through this myself, but know people that have done this. it's a hard decision to give away your flesh and blood that you've literally created! not to mention hormones are running high....everything is magnified and emotions are intensified..
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 12:23 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • It's perfectly normal. Something you thought you wanted to do doesn't always turn out to be the right choice in the end.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:24 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I have heard that it is a common feeling and perfectly legal to back out on giving up the child when the date of the adoption is near. It is a big decision.
    minasmama6

    Answer by minasmama6 at 12:39 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • This has never personally happened to me, but I have heard of other people doing this. The people I know went through with the adoption but ended up regretting it, but it was too late. They had already given their baby up.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 12:19 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • My cousin had the family picked they even came for the birth. Then for some reason I dont know if it was the adoption agencys law or the staes the baby got put into a temporary placement home for 2 weeks. My cousin ended up changing her mind. Im sure it was devestating for the couple. To make maters worse she saw them when one of my other aunts town was having a fair and she went and thats where the couple lived so they saw her and the baby.Im sure my cousin didnt regret it but my cousins child probably would have been better off with the couple.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 12:24 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

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