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if 40 is the new 30 does that mean that 20 is the new junior high?

How do we solve the "failure to launch" issues that seem to be more and more prevalent in our society?
should we expect more independence or our children at a younger age?

Answer Question
 
elizabiza

Asked by elizabiza at 12:29 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 24 (21,020 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • lol!? i dont know. but i do know that my kids are EXPECTED to have a plan for college and will not be living off of me as an adult.
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 12:31 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • People are getting progressively lazy and parents are getting softer and softer on their kids.
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 12:32 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I'm not so sure. I wouldn't really say independence, but rather a sense of responsibility is what I used. My children has chores, they helped watch the other children, they knew that I meant business when I said they needed to do something. To this day, my oldest daughter, who is 26 cannot lie to me. They knew I was the boss. Yes, at times, I can now be their friend and confidant, but back then, I was the boss/parent! I think it takes strong parents. Parenting is something that is a life-time commitment and you have to see it that way. We cannot say at age 15 that we are done raising that child.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:33 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I do think that people are being a tad too over protective of their children these days. Which I also believe leads to no cofidence in the parent or the child. Like the other day I was letting my children 4 and 17 months play on our patio (we live in apt 1st floor) it is fenced in, and bushes in front of that and then a walk way. I let my children play out there on their own and this lady walked by and gave me the DIRTYEST look ever...seriously you don't need to be a helicopter mom ALL the time. It unfortunetly is leading to children who walk all over their parents, have no respect for anyone, and lack maturity when its time for the real world.
    anikahaynes1

    Answer by anikahaynes1 at 12:33 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I can't speak for other parents..

    But mine was expected to ...and did.... Launch at 18... Just like I did.. He's out of the house, living and going to college across the country from us.

    My son is an adult. Though a young one with a WHOLE lot of life to lead. A WHOLE lot of learning to do.. A WHOLE lot of mistakes to make..ect.ect.. But he is an adult. And he must do those things on his own. Not saying we won't be there to help when he is in serious need. But for the most part.. He needs to live his own life, make and learn from his own mistakes, make his own way in this world, make his own decisions..etc..etc..

    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 12:36 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I thought everyone got the memo, YES 20s are the new junior high! Absolutely which means, children are wee lil babies forever
    littlestar85257

    Answer by littlestar85257 at 12:36 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I guess I must be in the minority here because I don't expect our daughters to leave as soon as they turn 18. Our oldest will be a senior in high school and I would rather her not move out in the middle of the year. We have several good colleges in driving distance and if she chooses one of those she is welcome to stay at home through college. (Which will only be a couple of years since she will have two years of concurrent enrollment in high school). I can see our younger daughter being ready to leave the nest on her birthday, and if she chooses to do so that's ok (she will have completed her senior year a month before her birthday).  While I don't want to tether my children to me, I also don't want to throw them out before they are ready.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:09 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • scoutmom... what if they aren't ready to move out until they are 35... would you still feel the same way?
    elizabiza

    Comment by elizabiza (original poster) at 1:20 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • OP if my DD is not ready until the day I die she will be welcome in my home! That is what any good loving parent would do.
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 1:26 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Lately it seems that way.
    WHen I had kids in the 1980's they all went to college( and I didn't actually "kick them out at 18)but they lived at home.
    They were mature and responsible and had good jobs when they were in their 20's and didn't get pregnant.....they waited to get married and then they had kids.
    SO, yeah,the teen Moms who are still living at home with Mommy and Daddy in ther 20's ..and the kids who sit at home playing XBox all day instead of going away to college are lazy and immature. They have no clue and the parents are not being parents--they are being "good buddies" so that they can avoid arguments. @@ Planning for the future and encouraging education is no longer a priority for kids and parents. They just don't seem to care.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 1:39 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

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