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What ever happened to waiting to get married before having children?

More and more I see "baby daddy's" or BF's instead of DH's, or women getting pregnant and having children and living with their baby daddy's for a few years - then MAYBE marriage. Maybe I am a bit old fashioned, but whatever happened to getting to know someone first, praticing safe sex, and having a courtship before getting married or bringing children into the world? This question is not meant to offend anyone, but I was just wondering.


Asked by dragonfly7271 at 7:00 PM on Oct. 12, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (118)
  •                               I'm glad I waited to have kids after getting married. It gave us a chance to be a team and to understand each others strengths and weaknesses. Parenting takes so much from both of us (and returns 10 fold) but we're in it together. I'm the product of divorce and a violent and messy one at that. So I think my past has everything to do with the way I live my life now. Maybe it is old fashioned, I don't know, I do know I wouldn't change a thing.


    Answer by shouldbsleepin at 11:33 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • I honestly dont know........

    Answer by kimsamomof3 at 7:01 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • it is thrown out the window because the meaning of marriage means nothing now.

    im happy the me and my BF, yes BF are expecting a little girl. But we are going to get married. weve been together for 3 years.

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 7:01 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • This IS the 2000 !!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I agree. I am the only one at work legally married. Although they all say they have "wives" and "husbands", but they aren't married.

    Answer by WifeyandMom71 at 7:06 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • Marriage is a religious practice...some people are not religious...not to mention making babies is natural.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I'll admit, my boyfriend and I didn't plan on having a baby yet...but I wouldn't have it any other way now that I'm pregnant.

    And we DO NOT believe that you have to get married just because you get pregnant. That's completely outdated and so 1950's.

    We want to get married because we love each other...not just because we're having a baby.

    Answer by caitxrawks at 7:14 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I guess people are more into the live together and see how it goes first theory,me and my SO have been together for 9 yrs and love each other just as much as any married couple,I have heard my own mother say she wishes she had never gotten married so I guess in a way that kind of swayed me away from the subject and since he has been twice and it didnt work why go there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • it doesn't always work out the way we plan.

    Answer by chyna_doll at 7:15 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I will say the pregnancy rate for non married woman have risen. BUT even "back in the day" when it was looked upon as almost unforgivable for doing such things it was still going on. They just didn't talk openly about it and if they got pregnant they were either sent away to girls homes or had a back alley abortion. So, things really have changed a whole lot. I think it's just now it's accepted to a greater extent and therefore people are open about it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Oct. 12, 2008