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what am I gonna do with my 13 year old son!!!??

Last april my 13 yr old son and his friend were arrested for graffiti on a building, we went to court paid an attorney $250 and he got 30 hrs community service, a month later he was caught doin graffiti at school on a PE wall and we went to the board of education and he got a few days suspension and was allowed to go back to school. This school year hes in a differnt school that is very strict, school has only been in session for 3 weeks and I just got a phone call that he got caught writing on a bathroom wall!! we have a meetin Tues at school, I"m sure this will go to the board again and he will be placed in a metro school!! I"m shakin as I type this I am at the end of my rope!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (15)
  • Maybe he needs to be put into some type of extra curricular art program? That way he can get it out of his system. Or maybe he is bored at school and after school and needs something to keep him entertained (harder classes, after school program, etc.).

    If all else fails he may need to go to a juvenile delinquent school and learn how hard life can really be on kids who don't straighten up.

    Answer by Memigen at 1:58 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • If this were my son. I would have 3 main thoughts going on in my head:

    1) He has an artistic skill/drive that needs to come out and be expressed in a productive manner. Which is this was the case, I would be finding some art classes/programs for him to participate in.
    2) He has some inner turmoil or problems that he is trying to get out/express and this is how he has chosen to do it. If this is the case, then I would try talking to him and getting to the bottom of the issue/problem. Or offer to provide councelling for him in order to do so.
    3) My son is being a little bratty ass that hasn't learned a lesson yet and needs to either receive harsher punishment or councelling in order for him to get the message/lesson that he is not getting.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:02 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • What you need to have happen is have this child get the shit scared out of him. Go to your local police dept and ask to speak to an officer and explain to the officer what is going on with your son and that you want to if he/she can help you with putting a little fear in this child of yours. I have seen this all way to often and your son will end up in juve. by the time he is 14-15. You just want to have a little fear put in him and if that doesn't work then maybe you need to make some calls to some resource's to get what ever is going on with this child. What the kids like that he is hanging out with? Are they good kids? You really want to look at the whole picture and put a tighter rope on him. Take shit away from him. If you want to talk more personal please feel free to PM me anytime.


    Answer by raemommy at 2:03 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • My first question would be why is he doing this? Could be a few things I suppose: he doesn't see the consequences as a big deal, he just simply doesn't care or he's looking for or enjoys the attention. Its really hard to solve a problem if you don't know what the actual problem is. This is probably the first thing I'd want to figure out especially after the 2nd time.
    However, I'd be furious with my boys if they had gotten in trouble not once but 3 times for the same offense, however after the 2nd time there would be some serious no friends, no bed, no electronics, no bedroom door. (Especially if I had paid $250 to bail them out of trouble and they did again). I'd also probably take a few days off work and go to school with them to embarass the hell out of them for their bad behavior.
    Good luck - I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, sounds like a very frustrating situation.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:04 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • i think you need to get him into some art programs, they even have graffiti programs out there.. and some other activities so that he can express himself.
    i know its frustrating and i dont think kids should just get away with everything, but he is still a kid and he doesnt really understand the consequences of his actions or how serious it is.
    atleast hes not selling drugs or something.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 2:08 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • WOW!! Sorry to hear that. It is tough tho on a parent to know that your child is destructive. Not knowing when he is out of your site what he will be up too. Yes i think that if he continues, he could end up in Juvie. I know that might be hard to swallow, but if he was my child i would feel better knowing that he is being taken care of somewhere that can help to correct the problem, Maybe even find out what he is so angry about. My husband used to work at a Juvenile Detention Center. I heard all about what the kids were like. I wish you much luck.

    Answer by Airforce3mom at 2:10 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • My son, when he was 11, got caught hanging out with some kids who "tagged" the outside of an apartment complex's sign - brick sign, very expensive to replace it. Now keep in mind that my son was never charged in this incident because he was not directly invlved but he still go brought home by a police officer (quite possibly the most humiliating moment of my entire life!!!). I took darling Baby Boy to the partment complex and made him apologize to the manager, and he spent the next 4 Saturdays scrubbing all of their brick fencing (2 blocks' worth of real estate) and picking up trash from around the property. He then wrote a 5,000 word essay on the evils of hanging out with the wrong crowd and vandalism. When he completed that lovely assignment, he then spent the next 6 hours stripping every single thing out of his room (i.e. tv, computer, desk, curtains, sheets, and anything else that wasn't nailed down) cont.

    Answer by mykidsmom75067 at 2:12 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • cont. He spent the next 8 months sleeping on a bare mattress with a pillow and sheet for company. He was able to earn each thing back when he did enough chores to pay for each and every item (example: his television cost $250.00 when we bought it and he had to do $250.00 worth of extra chores, on top of his regular chores like washing the car for $10.00, mowing the yard for $25.00; we credited him with a fair wage, but he never got the money - we just recorded it in a journal). He now understands how much work goes into obtaining possessions.

    Sounds like your son needs a few lessons in the real world and the consequences of his actions. It is time to clamp down on his butt and "show him the light"!

    Good luck, it isn't easy but it is worth it in the end!

    Answer by mykidsmom75067 at 2:17 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I am with mykidsmom and blessedwboyzx3, if I had a son. Everything in his room would not be there anymore. And he would not be able to do anything fun for a long time. he would be doing a lot of chores around the house for years to pay me back for the money.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:24 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • wow his third time. He must have some kind of problem or he just dosent care about being punished. Im wondering why you got an attorney the first time. Did you have to or did you just think with an attorney he would get a lighter sentence. Hopefully he learns a lesson or gets some help.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:33 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

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