Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Has anyone had to go be from being a SAHM to working again and having the kids in daycare? How do u get over the guilt? Please no bashing I feel bad enough already

Answer Question
 
JrsMommy07

Asked by JrsMommy07 at 2:37 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (419 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • yes and I realized I was miserable and so were my children so I went back to being a sahm.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:39 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • oh great now i feel so much better :( I cannot afford to be a sahm
    JrsMommy07

    Comment by JrsMommy07 (original poster) at 2:40 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I did and it was hard at first, but if you find a job that you truly enjoy then it will make things at least a little bit easier. Then you won't dread leaving your kids AND going to work. Also finding a daycare that you trust and think is offerring the same love you give your child helps.

    I found a daycare finally that is AMAZING! And finally found the job that I LOVE! :)

    But that doesn't always happen.

    Keep their pictures close and remember that they are building new friendships and experiences for the rest of their life! School will be so much easier because they are getting these experiences early and they are going to learn new and amazing skills too! :)

    Good luck!

    Feel free to message me anytime you need someone to talk to. :)
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 2:40 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • everyone has to make sacrifices sometimes. You are NOT a bad mom for having to go back to work, you are a GOOD mom for sacrificing yourself to bring in an income and put food in their tummies and a roof over their head. Your children will thank you later in life for being such a strong person and a good role model instead of living off welfare or being homeless :( (((((HUGS)))))
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 2:41 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I've never had the opportunity of being a SAHM unfortunately, but even with that being my situation there is still guilt for never being able to be the one to stay home, make their breakfast, pick them up from school, have the house clean on a regular basis, play games etc...
    It is hard working out of the home and watching your children grow up without you there. My boys are 12 & 16 and I still feel guilty sometimes. I remind myself though that if I wasn't working they wouldn't have the opportunities I'm able to provide for them, if I didn't work they wouldn't be able to eat, they wouldn't be able to have clothes...I mean necessities are important. When I am home, I'm home and we spend as much time together during the week and weekends as we can.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:41 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • i bumped ya! I'm a sahm, but often want to go back to work because even though it's been 2 years and we barely manage, I feel so helpless and want to chip in financially. it would really help us avoid constant late fees. However with the way SO's work schedule is, if I were to get a decent job my son would be raised by the daycate teachers and my paychecks would mostly go towards daycare, so it just isnt worth it. Nighttime jobs arent very ideal in my town and the transition to working all night and being with my son all day while SO works would exhaust me physically and emotionally.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 2:42 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I never really had any "guilt". I felt bad that my son missed me and I miss him but I knew he was only in day care because I have to work in order to provide a good life for him. I think I would feel more guilty if I stayed at home and couldn't afford the things he needs or would have to raise him on welfare. I don't ever feel like anyone else is "raising" him either. I am his mother, always will be and he knows that just fine. There is just simply someone else caring for him while I'm supporting our family. He's in day care just as long as he will be in school in a few years. Does that mean the school will be raising him? I think not.
    jessicarae787

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 2:43 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • it was hard at first -- but my job kept me very busy, and my kids really, really love their daycare. My son especially is very social and I could see right off the bat that he was having so much fun and making new friends. It's important to find a good daycare that you are comfortable with - our daycare lady has become like one of the family now.
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 2:44 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • YOu have nothing to feel guilty about. I am sure you put a lot of effort into making sure the care giver you chose was the best for your family. I bet you made phone call after phone call comparing ratio's, location, and policies. I am sure you took the job that you felt was the best fit for you and your family. I am sure everyone will have to adjust to a new routine but in the end everything will be fine. You have to to what you have to do and if you need to work to survive then that's what you do. Even moms who have to work put their children and families first. You will be 'on call' the whole time they are at daycare. If they need you I am sure you will be right there!
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 2:44 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Im so sorry I didnt mean to make you feel badly :( I was lucky enough to have that option. I know not everyone does.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:44 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN