• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Child Jekkill and Hyed?

My 3 year old daughter isn't a perfect angel at my house... but compared to how she acts at her dad house she deserves a halo... more details:
If she doesn't get her way at my house she'll say "no" or kinda glare at you.
At her dads house she has been known to kick, scream, scratch, bite. Totally not my little girl that I know. Her dad has 2 younger kids than her at his house (his wifes kids) and I think she just gets too overstimulated with both kids, tv, and a yappy dog there.
Anyways, more info:
His wife calls me the other day after my daughter threw a fit saying that my daughter needs therapy because something is wrong with her. ((If she doesn't act like that at my house and only at your house doesn't that mean it's something up with your house?)) Any advice on ths ituation on how i can prevent my child from being so destructive while i'm not there, or what i can say to her dad... anything...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • talk to them about how they are dealing with her behavior when this hapens - if they arent doing the same disapline and dont have the same rules then your DD will create hell for them because she can get away with it -
    maybe the way the disapline her is easy for her to cope with so she doesnt care if she gets into trouble there = and your discapline is obviously something she doesnt want to face so she knows to behave at your home.
    they need to embrace what you do to deal with her if they want her to be good
    vakatia

    Answer by vakatia at 8:09 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • you know my kid was like that at my friend/sitter's house. My sitter tried to convince me that she needed therapy or meds. i found a new sitter and no more problems. I think you're right. It's probably because of the way they react to what she does.
    myboogiewoogie

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 8:09 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • from what i've asked about how he diciplines her: time outs, talking to her about what was bad, going to her room, saying sorry (obviously)
    Mine are pretty much the same except i do nose in the corner which he has been adapting to but sitll isn't working.
    I have always had sole custody of my daughter so she and I are very close. I think maybe she gets the feeling that she doesn't have to listen to him... no matter how many times i tell her that the same rules at mom's house are the same rules at dad's house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I agree that both households have to be on the same page concerning discipline. Otherwise, it will only get worse as she gets older. I had the same problem with my ex. And he thinks the same thing. Since she is more defient with him than with me there must be something wrong at my house. My answer for him was stop letting her get away with everything and don't be afraid to issue consequences for her actions. Plus, now that she's 7 I let her know that she has to behave no matter who's she's with. Hopefully, it will get better for you. I have to start all over with him with my 3yr old now, who is also his. Good luck :)
    lilmomma4

    Answer by lilmomma4 at 9:01 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • could it be that at her dad's house she feels (even at this young age) that she has to "show off" or compete with her younger step-siblings for attention, because they live with him full time. maybe on some level she feels like an outsider and she acts out because she doesn't know how to express her feelings? maybe she and her dad need some alone time to make her feel special and maybe she won't act up so much.
    garrygirl

    Answer by garrygirl at 11:08 PM on Oct. 12, 2008