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Do I confront SIL or say nothing.

My 10 year old daughter just informed me that my sil talks shit about me all the time. I don't care what she has to say about me, but I would appreciate it if she would keep it to herself and not say it to my kids.. The feeling is mutual, I don't like her either but I don't say bad things to my kids about her. My daughter said she always says bad stuff about me.. My son and daughter is supposed to stay the weekend with her, but now I am not sure if she should keep them. No wonder why my daughter disrespects me so much...

 
PoisonousBlonde

Asked by PoisonousBlonde at 4:55 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 24 (20,518 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • I would absolutely confront her! Not necessarily in an angry way, but just tell her that you've decided she can't have your kids over anymore, and why. She has NO right to talk about you in front of your children. That was way out of line.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 5:59 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I would not allow my children to spend time in a home where I knew I was being negatively spoken about. I would just call her and tell her they aren't coming and I would also tell her why. You don't have to speak angrily to her, but she needs to know the reason why you are not allowing them to come. Maybe she will stop and maybe she won't, but at least your children will not have to listen to their mom being spoken ill of.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:59 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Don't allow your children over there. Invite her children to your house. I am not sure that I would say something because it could end up blowing up in your daughters face.

    In my BIL divorce, they were constantly talking shit about the other one in front of the kids and it just escalates every year between them and their children. I say, take it on the chin, but keep your kids far away from her.
    urkiddingright

    Answer by urkiddingright at 5:12 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • this is exactly what my aunt does and it infuriates me. not because she talks trash about me, i could care less what that cow things, but because she tells everyone else and then plays nice in front of me. she needs to find the balls to come to me like an adult and speak her piece.

    i wouldn't not let your daughter go over if your daughter enjoys spending time with her, but you and your hubby (if hes in the picture) need to confront her and let her know its totally inappropriate to talk about you like that in front of your kid. it sounds like its making your daughter uncomfortable, if she needed to bring it to your attention.

    was your sil just ranting about something or was she trying to have a conversation with your daughter about your alleged faults?
    erinwhitt

    Answer by erinwhitt at 5:00 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Do not let your kids over there. Have your husband talk to her about it. Tell your kids to tell dad everything she has said about you. Then, have him talk to her about it. After all, she is his sister. If this doesn't work, keep your kids away from her.
    A.Perry

    Answer by A.Perry at 5:00 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I agree talk to your hubby and tell him whats been going on and have him say something to her as another post suggested and I would not let my kids go over there until this problem is solved if at all.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 5:05 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I've always had issues with her. I always confront her when I do. I know she is two faced to everyone, even to her other nieces and nephews and to her brothers and sister, She acts nice to everyones faces and then dogs everyone behind their backs. I do not want my daughter thinking that type of behavior is acceptable. My daughter disrespects me a lot and now I know why, my sil does it to my daughter and my daughter thinks it is ok. I will have my husband say something, but I bet she denies it.
    PoisonousBlonde

    Comment by PoisonousBlonde (original poster) at 5:09 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I'd keep my kids away from her
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 5:20 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I wouldn't let her take the kids
    if she can't respect you, and disrespects you to your children it's only going to create friction with you and your children and it's not worth it.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 5:55 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

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