Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Hi Ladies! What is everyone's thoughts on joint custody?

Answer Question

Asked by LanesMommy06 at 6:15 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Uhhhh, in general? If both parents get along and aren't drug addicted prostitutes or anything like that, I think it's a great idea... Sorry, this question is a bit vague.

    Answer by Anouck at 6:17 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • better than NO custody, I guess............... if both parents are mature and committed I suppose it's good. I don't think that is often the case, however...... I think that 1 parent always gets the shaft.

    Answer by hibbingmom at 6:18 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • My hubby has joint custody of his/our daughter, I feel that joint custudy can only work if both parents get along or at at least cordial to each other and respect each other as that child's parent equally. We struggle with joint custody because bio mom and hubby do not see eye to eye on issues, it has cause alot of problems, it's always a power struggle on both sides and the only one that suffers it's my daughter (step daughter).

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 6:18 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I think it depends on the parents and how they treat the kids and that sort of thing.
    I have full custody and my ex husband only has reasonable visitation and i will NEVER give him joint custody. He drinks and smokes pot and was in the Marines and only talks about killing people. Plus, the night before I left him he was watching porn and jacking off and didnt stop when my daughter who was a year and a half old at the time walked it..His excuse was "she's too little to know".
    SO I think it depends on the circumstances for joint custody to be an option.

    Answer by misspriss_1987 at 6:20 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • There are two types of joint custody. Which one are you referriing? Joint legal custody or joint physical custody? Joint legal with one person having primary physical and the other having partial physical is a very common practice. The party having primary physical custody is supposed to confer with the other parent on matters regarding the children, but they parties do not have to agree, the party having primary physical custody can make the decisions and a court will usually abide by that given that they did consult the other party.
    Joint physical is the type where the children spend equal time between the parties. I think they can be very difficult unless they parents are able to communicate very effectively and they plan to have the same rules and consequences in each household.

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:20 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • As long as every one can get along, it may be possible. But I know kids who go back and forth- 1 week w/ mom, 1 week w/ dad & they (the kids) dont like it one bit. It depends on the ages of the kids & keeping discipline consistent at both homes. Good luck if you are considering it. (*keep in mind, that usually means no child support for either parent)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:21 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • If you can make it work it's a great thing. At least write in the paper work that both parents have to stay in town because shipping kids across the country sucks. I wish my parents had thought of that.

    Answer by gnovinger at 6:21 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • oK, I mean...sorry...joint physical and legal custody. Where the child is at dads house one whole week, and moms house the next week. Do you think there is any type of stability for the children regardless of how well mother and father get along?!

    Comment by LanesMommy06 (original poster) at 6:22 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • And, yes I do know what all types of custody mean. I'm a CJ, Legal Studies/Corrections major! Will be graduating with my BS in an year!! Although, thanks for the inference!

    Comment by LanesMommy06 (original poster) at 6:27 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Not for me if dh and I split it would be over some thing big. Joint custody would not would well with my attitude when screwed over.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 6:40 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.