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Teenage son out of control 16yrs wont go to school, Drugs, Drinking, ? What to do??

My brother is slowly spirling out of control.. he's smoking weed all the time, he hasnt been to school in over two years, now hes drinking. Last night he came home with his best friend (who doesnt drink, and is usually a good kid) his friend smashed his bike in my brand new car on accident because he was so drunk, and didnt make it home. His parents called us this morning to tell us the boy was hospitalized because he wrecked his bike. Im currently investigating the liquor store that sold the alcohol (they reviewed the tapes and said it was a woman that bought it)

What do I do? He's stronger than me, and Im pretty sure he's figured out that he can over power me. Drinking, weed, and who knows what else.. I cant afford a boarding school or I would send him there in a heart beat.. Please any advice?

 
stenhouse_baby

Asked by stenhouse_baby at 7:53 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 15 (2,255 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • If you can not control him I agree with the other answers have the authorities intervene. He can be removed from your home if you are in fear or feel threatened. It is a difficult decision to make. We had the same problem with our daughter when she was 15 luckily we still had some control and that summer I took away everything and she didn't take a step without me next to her. She is actually grateful told me I should write a book on how to deal with unruly teenage girls. I worry about our boys but I believe they watched and learned and saw how sad and hurt her father and I were and will do the right thing by themselves and us.
    It is a hard thing to consider but young men are stronger than we are it's just the way of life there are hotlines you can phone for advice and I would do this if I were you, do an internet search in your area for such services. Good Luck ~!
    TessLea

    Answer by TessLea at 8:12 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Call the police. It's time for some consequences for his behavior. And you should not be the one having to deal with this!
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 7:58 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Send him to rehab...
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 8:01 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I agree. Jail time might be the only thing to help him learn.
    Momto3619

    Answer by Momto3619 at 8:05 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • He's my brother, so I cant make the decisions... but my mother never diciplins him... He is adopted, and technically my nephew. My sister's husband (my brother's father) comitted suiside when he was a month old. My sister started doing coke/meth to cope, and they took my nephew away from her. My mom adopted him, and since I was 5 he has been my brother. My mother goes easy on him because of all this, even though he was too small to remember.

    To him its a story, not a memory. Since he was a baby he has lived with us as my brother. My mother wants to make up for his rough start by spoiling him- no joke, he has gotten a brand new XBOX 360 twice a year, has a flat screen tv, a PS3, gets a new $50 dollar game twice a week, and money on demand.

    I tried explaining that shes not helping him, but hinering him..but she doesnt see it that way. I appreciate everyones suggestions, all I can do its pass the info along to my mother.
    stenhouse_baby

    Comment by stenhouse_baby (original poster) at 8:11 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Pssst....you don't need your mom's permission to call the police. See if you can talk to a cop who will take your report anonymously so nobody knows it's you. Sounds like he has been in enough trouble already that lots of poeple know what he's up to anyway.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 8:20 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Call the cops don't wait until he is 18 and its to late.
    trachmom312

    Answer by trachmom312 at 8:34 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • well you could call the cops and get him locked up for lots of things you listed. the problem is your mom.... if she is not on board then she will just continue to enable him and nothing will work. i would work on turning your mom around and i would call the cops. people like him need tough love to turn around. also see if there are any scared straight programs that he could be sent to
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:15 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I agree, call the cops. Wait till you see that he's picked up some weed and get him busted. And every time he gets busted, the consequences will get worse. And I bet your mom will be on board when SHE gets in trouble after he gets busted a few times. It sucks...but sometimes tough love is the only way.
    erinwhitt

    Answer by erinwhitt at 9:37 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Call the cops! He needs to have a knot jerked into his tail.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:20 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

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