Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

any outher then me have this problem

i need help my husbend is vary selfish with money that is not even his but it goes in to his account and this is the fight we have all the time i never ask for money ecsept for 5 dollers here and there but he will take like 200 dollers to go on a fishing trip and he will plane 2 or more or he will spend 20 dollers on bait and there has been cases that i had to chose betwen paying the bills or buying diapers and i want 200 dollers to do something with my children and he will not do it is that fair and do any of you have this problem and how do you deal with it

Answer Question
 
newmom461

Asked by newmom461 at 8:08 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • No, I do not have this problem and no it is not fair to you. You are equals in the marriage and that includes money. You need to sit down and explain to him that you are not his child and he has absolutely NO right controlling the amount of money you get. Is he controlling on other ways as well? If so, that is no way to live and you shouldn't put up with any of it.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:15 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Do you have a joint acct to pay the bills with? Do you both earn an income? If you earn your own $, then set up an acct just in your name so you don't have to ask him. You're right- that's not fair that he gets to spend like he's carefree & single & you have to grovel for a few bucks. Problems with money & sex are sure ways to break up a relationship. Ask him how he'd like to lose half his stuff & pay alimoney & child support? Maybe he'll rethink his stingy ways! Good luck.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:16 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • my ex husband controlling with money..he would give me "X" amount to buy food,diapers,gas,household stuff and he would blow the rest on whatever he wanted and if the house was not spotless, if I did not pick up his pants fast enough after he took them off, there would be no allowance and when i put money into the account it was always his because he was the head of the house. It got so screwed up that I had to leave ....
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 9:23 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Why does he think that he needs to hold on to all that money? You have household bills to pay, diapers, and food. Otherwise you will be out on the street. Keep track of what he gives you and see how much you actually get. Then show him!
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:50 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I think you need to sit down with him and have a frank conversation.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 1:25 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Marriage should be an equal partnership. Your marriage is in trouble at you need counseling.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:21 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.