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Is this just a phase- or maybe more?

We've had 5 deaths in the family in the last year & a half- the most recent was my boys' father. He was mine & my husb.'s age & it was very unexpected. My 8 y/o dau. has had too many funerals in her young life, & now she won't spend the nite anywhere b/c she misses us too much. Her girl scout leader even tried helping by having a sleep over at her house since they will be doing an overnite camping trip soon, but she didn't make it. I got the call to come get her. I even packed one my shirts w/ my perfume on it. Any suggestions?


Asked by mrsmom110 at 8:10 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • My son was like this for the longest time, he would want to spend the night at an uncles house with cousins but when sleep time came around he missed home we always had to go get him. It is a phase, my son never has had to deal with family death, and yet, he couldn't bring himself to spend the night elsewhere. He eventually outgrew it, but even now at 23 he is still a home bound boy!
    If I were you I wouldn't force the issue, spending the night with others should be a fun thing, not an obligation she will eventually outgrow this.

    Answer by older at 8:18 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Stop pushing her to stay at other peoples houses. She will get out of this stage. She is affraid you will die while she is gone.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:20 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • try talking to her about her fears and let her know that you are concerned don't just throw her into these situations...

    Answer by misunderstood1 at 11:06 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • When I was 6 - 10 yrs old. I lost my Grandfather, my Father and my Grandmother. But you went through five in the last year and a half. She probably is afraid that if she is away from you that something bad will happen. The next time someone has a sleep over, ask to see if they need any help and volunteer. Go with her to one. That way she can get used to being around other people.

    As for me, after all these years I finally realized that in a way I'm afraid of getting close to someone because I'm afraid something will happen to them. It's hard, but I hope she doesn't emotionally distance herself from the ones that she loves. It will take time and I hope that things will work out for you. It won't happen over night.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:47 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • death is hard thing for kids to deal with. don't push her. only time will take care of her.

    Answer by DoughGirl1985 at 2:43 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • OK- I am not trying to "force" her into doing overnites- she gets invited, gets excited & wants to go , but then evening rolls around, & I get the call to come & get her. I just dont want her to miss out on some childhood fun. We do have her friend's sleep over at our hm too. I guess it just concerns me that she has such a deep separation anxiety.

    Comment by mrsmom110 (original poster) at 7:02 AM on Sep. 4, 2010