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3 Bumps

Sister is "pregnant" and "miscarrying"... how do I handle this?

My sister has always been "the pregnant one" and has some valid emotional issues. But this is, like, the 5th pregnancy that I'm almost certain she has lied about. Details just don't add up in a big way here. I won't go into details because there's not enough space to tell each story, but I tend to give the benefit of the doubt and even I don't believe her.

This is the second time she announced her "pregnancy" immediately surrounding the birth of my children (the first time she announced it to my mom while they were attending me while I labored with my first!). My mom heard through the grapevine that she is now "miscarrying"... again. She tried to call me and left a message the other day... I love her, but I don't know how to handle it when I return her call.

Do I play along? Let her continue lying to everyone like this? Do I confront her?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • If it was my sister, I would definitely approach her about the situation.. I would tell her that i don't want to hurt her feelings or upset her, but i don't really believe her... Each and every time she has a "miscarriage" It has to be documented by the hospital right? I would find a way to bring up information concerning that paperwork.. Maybe Im just a little curious about the paperwork the yhand out to patients concerning this situation... I would ask her is it ok that i view the paperwork, and also If she really is going through this situation, offer a hand for just simply support.... If she denies your hand then maybe your suspicions just might be accurate...

    Answer by Tasha555 at 8:51 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • It sounds like she is using pregnancy to get attention and miscarrying to get sympathy. I imagine it does get draining to have to deal with her 'drama'. If it were me I would say "you know sis, this seems to be happening a lot. Maybe you should see a therapist-- to help you deal with the loss, and you should also see an ob/gyn to make sure everything is ok. Next time you get pregnant maybe you should wait until week 30 to tell everyone"

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • There's really only so much you can do. I'd go along with it, but wouldn't act all excited every time. If she's lying, she's obviously doing it for kind of attention.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 8:25 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • do what you think is best, i would feel terrible if someone was actually miscarrying and i treated them like hell

    Answer by angevil53 at 8:21 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I would totally and completely ignore it. I HATE it when people try to glamorize pregnancy and miscarrying. Ugh! She wants attention. so don't give it to her.

    Answer by erinwhitt at 8:28 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Ask her if shes willing to pee on a stick. If she freaks out about it, you pretty much have your answer. Tell her to stop stealing your line light

    Answer by stenhouse_baby at 8:32 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I would just go along with it, but don't invest too much emotion in it. You say your sister has emotional issues, THIS is why she is claiming to be pregnant and miscarrying around the time of your pregnancies and births...she is competing for attention anyway she can get it. I hope your sister is seeking professional help for her problems, I hate to say it but some women with severe emotional problems and an irrational need to have a child have gone to extreme lengths to have a child of their own without getting pregnant!!!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:35 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Offer to go to her doctors appointments with her... if she says she's not going you can push her a lit about it. It's a way to call her out so to speak. But, then if she is really having these probelms you are being supportive and offering to hold her hand at the Docs!. Just an idea - good luck.

    Answer by Morgain at 8:39 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • Maybe have her come to you for a visit. Set her up an appointment and wait til you get there then tell her you know a great obgyn and you've got her an appointment there to make sure this isn't something that there isn't something genetic that you might also be carrying but hasn't shown up yet. All valid reasons, and this way your not exactly calling her out but checking on her health as well. I also have a sister with a many mental issues, and this is something like I would do. JMO!

    Answer by momof3xthefun at 9:40 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • OP here

    I would feel terrible too, which is why I have never said anything before. But isn't entertaining these fantasies also hurtful? Not just to her, but to her relationship with my whole family? No one believes a word she says because she lies SO frequently. I mean... like, the motherload of bullshit here. It's alienating her and I want to help, I just don't know what the best way to do that is.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:24 PM on Sep. 3, 2010