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"You shouldnt even think about that" (divorce)

Even though me & dh are very much in love & no problems at all... I cant help but think "if we divorce one day"...
Am I the only one that thinks about "what if divorce did happen"
Is this bad of me? or is it normal?
If I say it in a conversation he says "you shouldn't even be thinking that way"
for example:
today we where talking about someone he knows, their wife inherited ALOT of money from her rich parents when they passed.. and I said "Well if we where to ever divorce you better not even think about what will be mine" -- (Everything my mom owns will be mine when she passes- hate to think about that though!)
Or one day I said "boy if we ever divorced I dont want to think about the stories you would go around telling everyone."
Both were NOT in a negative way, just talking, even in humor..
But I do think of the "if" in life lol...

 
MommaTasha1003

Asked by MommaTasha1003 at 11:35 PM on Sep. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 24 (20,837 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I do consider it normal and also wise to think about ALL the possibilities. My husband and I have talked about it in a hypothetical fashion. Mostly because he's been divorced before. And my brother is on his second divorce now. We also just learned that the parents of my son's best friend have split up.

    Considering the prevalence of divorce, I don't think it's realistic NOT to consider that it might be YOU in that position someday, and to be able to handle things just in case. My mother drilled it into my head that every woman needs to be able to fend for herself and her children WITHOUT a husband. She'd seen too many friends and relatives suffer bitterly for NOT planning.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:14 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I think focusing on the demise of your marriage is a sign that somewhere deep inside you don't expect your marriage to last.

    Before we even got married, my hubby and I both took divorce completely off the table. Our vows are for better or worse, in good times and bad.....barring a crime - like he goes out and kills somebody or something crazy, I firmly believe that there really isn't anything we can't work through together.,
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 11:39 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • i would disagree with pp. i think if you think about it doesn't mean that your not fully committed and that you don't expect it to last. i think it's natural to sometimes just have the thought cross your mind, heck i sometimes think of killing myself but i would never do it. doesn't mean deep down inside that i fancy the thought of death. it was just in humor and i think your hubby is being a bit up tight about it. divorce is completely off the table for us as well. i mean i went to the of marrying my husband in the temple for all eternity. thats what lds people do.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:45 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I do realize that in this society today that a lot of marriages end in divorce. But, on the other hand, there are some that do last. Don't be negative, think positive. You can't live your life with a bunch of "what ifs," be positive about your future together. I wish you two all the best.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:16 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Maureen is right. I don't think that it is something that you should say in conversation or in your head. If you always have that in the back of your head as being an option or thought then it is more likely to come to fruition.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 11:41 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • We joke about it sometimes. And we are very solid. We've been married for 7 great years. I don't see the harm in joking. We do the same thing about death too (when I die, just have me stuffed on the chair with a soda in my hand" kind of thing).
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 11:42 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • pp having been maureen md
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:46 PM on Sep. 3, 2010

  • I have been married 18 years. I never thought about divorce until we hit a very rough patch. And then I did lots of thinking, and some planning. I never had to implement anything though, we worked it out. I think you should always be prepared (as I was not, and had 1 child at the time, and no means to support myself or any place to go). So I don't think dwelling on it is good, but you should have an exit plan, just in case. And don't joke about it, it's not funny.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:16 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

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