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5 Bumps

What is the age or timing that works for allowing a teen to spend the night with a opposite sex mate?

I am having a moral dilemma with my teen. She is in college and wants to spend the night with her b/f. Both are 18--neither work. She is off in college--he is trying to get a job. He is a good kid she is a good kid.
My question is this when do you say by honey have a good time spending the night over there?


Asked by mmmegan38 at 1:07 AM on Sep. 4, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 29 (39,651 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • You don't have to accept it, you can just let it go. And you have every right to say "Not in my house".

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:54 AM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • She's 18 and an adult. She's going to do what she wants to do anyway. Its time for her to make decisions on her own now.

    Answer by onemellowmom at 1:16 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • at 18 she can make that choice... it's not really up to you


    Answer by Morgain at 1:10 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Is she off in college or does she live under your roof? Im assuming that if you are saying bye to her then she is living with you.. If you are still paying for everything for her and she is under your roof, then you get to make that call. When she moves out, she can do whatever she wants. You wont see it, you wont here about it and you dont have to say goodbye to her either...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • When she is married! Seriously you can't stop her but if you have morals you can't exactly give her your permission either. She is going to do what she wants to sooner or later, hopefully later anyway.

    Answer by Janet at 1:16 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • once I was 18 my parents didn't dis-allow me to do anything. There only rule was that if I wasn't going to come home then i should call them early enough so that the wouldn't worry. I didn't abuse their trust. I just don't see how you can tell her that she can't go to her BF's house, she's 18 and well within the legal age of consent if that is why she wants to go there. Could also be then want to spend time together like normal couples over the age of 18. Don't you trust that you raised her with a good head on her shoulders?? That poor kid, you all but said "I don't trust you".


    Answer by Morgain at 1:26 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • My dd is 2, so its not an issue yet for me, but looks at it this way... If you are nervous about her spending the night because youre worried they may have sex or drink or something, they are gonna do it whether she comes home at 11 or if she spends the night! I really cant think of any other reasons why a mother wouldnt want her dd spending the night with a guy... haha!

    Answer by Morgs7531642 at 1:59 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Just voice your opinion and then the ball is in her court. Keep you fingers cross.

    Answer by musicmom08 at 9:32 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • OK op, so if she was at college and wanted to spend the night with him every night, she could. So why is it a problem for her to do it when she is home for the weekend? What is the difference?

    Answer by getrealmama at 1:23 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Personally in our family dd will have to be married bfore that is allowed. And if dh has any say in the matter, she will have to be 30 to even do that lol. We joke all the time that she is growing up too fast(she's 2) and that we need to "sit on her" to keep her small lol. Whenever she grows or does something new dh will say to me"I told you to sit on her!"

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 4:50 AM on Sep. 4, 2010