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3 Bumps

How do you handle other people's bratty kids?

This has happened to me a few times and I am always at a loss as to what to do. What do you ladies do when you are out somewhere where there are other children (the park or McDonalds etc) and another kid misbehaves towards your kid? Do you directly reprimand the kid? Do you go to the parent?

Here are my two examples that happened to me - my son is 20 months old and pretty meek:

At the park, my son has a few sand toys and an older kid he doesn't know walks up, takes a toy from him, and starts to walk away with it. No moms around, no idea who mom is or if she saw what happened but nobody spoke up to reprimand the kid so I am guessing mom was not paying any attention.
At McDonalds Playland, a slightly bigger kid walks up to my kid, they look at each other for a minute, and the kid punches my kid in the head for no apparent reason. Mom is in a corner on her cellphone, not watching at all.

Answer Question
 
getrealmama

Asked by getrealmama at 1:18 AM on Sep. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,818 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I don't!
    tryin2BGOOD

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 1:21 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I'd say something in both those situations. Something like "X brought that pail from home and we need to keep it here. If you want to play with him with it, ask and I'm sure he'll share with you." Or "Hitting isn't nice, X doesn't want to play with you anymore because you hit him."

    I have no problem speaking up, especially to defend my kids, and especailly that young. I was at my son's football practice this spring and my youngest(4yo) was playing with a friends son (6yo). My son is usually pretty good, but he and this kid were running around screaming - just because. So I walk over and tell my son that his screaming like that is not acceptable and to stop it right now. Then I just think "screw it", and told the other kid he could stop it too.

    I usually try to say it nicely, not yelling, but I won't allow my kids to be bullied or be around that kind of behaviour without telling them that it's unacceptable.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 1:29 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I agree with canadianmom.. Its what I would do.... And have done it in the past. I have 3 kids and they are all now in there teens. I still get onto them, and there friends... Whether the mom is there or not.. I will not have my kids bulling others or others bully in my kids...
    MzGeorgiaPeach

    Answer by MzGeorgiaPeach at 1:35 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Most of the time I don't get a cance to say anything to the kid's parens because dh beats me to it lol. He despises bullying. It doesn't happen a whole lot because we keep tight ropes on our kids when in public. But if another kid hit mine I wouldn't give a crap if the mother liked it or not or if she was around or not. People are so worried that they are gonna step on somebody's toes!! I would walk right up to the kid, no matter the age and say sternly."That's not nice, would you like someone to do that to you?" Then I would FIND the mother and tell her she needed to watch her kid better and that if she didn't CPS could easily pay her a visit because of child neglect and that her kid could have been kidnapped. If you don't tell the mom then they may assume that you're ok with hitting and taking toys away. You have to be the voice for your child because no one else will and he will continue to be picked on.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 4:34 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • As far as the taking my kid's toy thing, again I would walk right up to the kid and say,"That isn't yours and its not nice to take things out of people's hands without asking" And I would insist the child give the toy back and again, couldn't care less if Ms.Mama cell phone saw it or not or what she had to say. Maybe take her cell phone out of her hand and see how she likes her toy being taken away LOL. Seriously, I see it more and more parents not watching their kids and think just because they are at a playground or other child friendly place that they can't be stolen or lost or hurt!!!!
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 4:38 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I would say something in both cases., I try not to be angry at the kid though becasue honestly it is more the parents fault for not watching the kid, they learn by example and if noone ever redirects them then they have no idea what they are doing is wrong. If someone hits on of my guys I go to the parent directly. My kids get picked on alot as they are very shy, I donot allow it to happen. Now that DS is older I have been letting him handle it for a few minutes first then if it continues I track down a parent.
    mamallamaof2

    Answer by mamallamaof2 at 7:47 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • i find their parents and tell on them, then let them handle it. i have done this more than once this summer..
    misunderstood1

    Answer by misunderstood1 at 8:50 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I'm a teacher... and I swear its by birth... I have absolutely NO issues telling any child "Hey that's not okay. You need to use your words and ask and then helping them learn to share/ask" or "No. Hitting is NOT safe. We keep our hands to ourself" etc.
    or whatever lang. is app.to that situation...
    I'm a firm believer in it takes a village and have no issues to anyone else correcting my child either as long as its done nicely/correctly.

    I've never/rarely had any parent get upset either b/c I use positive/teaching tone and language and usually stay to engage BOTH children in appropiate play etc.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 12:55 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Thanks ladies....in each of these situations I did confront the child and did not feel awkward doing that. When the kid hit my son, I really wanted to confront the mother, but when it first happened I was too busy comforting my own child. Then after the fact, I was so angry that I knew it would be better if I didn't say anything at all. I am not good with confrontation and a lot of people in my area are either military or very uneducated, and either way they tend to be pretty "in your face." I'd like to avoid having my ass beat over some redneck kid's lack of upbringing, lol. I guess this is the price I pay for living in a more rural area when I am a city girl. The culture here is very different than I am used to!
    getrealmama

    Comment by getrealmama (original poster) at 11:34 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

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