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What if your really in love with your man but he just doesn't turn you on physically? How do you over come that?

He's a great guy. I love him and we're engaged to be married. My kids think he's great and he treats them really good. He's kinda overweight and it kinda grosses me out when we're intimate. I know it sounds really superfical but I can't help it. Any advice would be appreicated.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Oct. 12, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Just tell him to loose weight. If my boyfriend thought i was getting big and had a problem with it i would want him to tell me.

    Answer by mamaxkitty at 11:02 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • if it bothers you now it will bother you later. i have a guy friend who got involved with and overweight chick cause she was nice and a good person. he is now filing for divorce cuase he just isnt physically attracted to her you cant have a good marriage without a good sex life. i know that sounds mean . can i ask why you started dating him? you must of thought something about him was attractive ?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I am saying the unpopular thing, which is why this is anonymous: LEAVE.

    You are worth someone that you find sexy. You are up against a tougher road because you have children, but love isn't love with out physical love. A woman requires passion to get through the tough times and love to get through the easy. Move on, be proud of yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • maybe start excerising and see if he would be interested in joining you and working out together. just hint aroudn about it without saying anything offensive. or start cooking healthier foods. that alone can help

    Answer by chevygirl2007l at 11:14 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • sex is a mental thing if you can mentally over look his weight and really learn to love him more deeply he will in your mind and eye be more attractive. you have flaws in your body. everyone has them. there are not that many guys that your children will love and love your children. there is nobody that is prefect. if your looking for someone more attractive you might miss out on the great qualities that this man has. wouldn't it be funny if you dumped him and he lost the weight. i think you should be honest with him and maybe both join a gym. if you got fat from pregnancy would it be ok for some guy just to leave you cause you got fat. either you really love this man or not. it wouldn't matter to me even if my hubby got fat one day. in my eyes he is beautiful and not just on the outside. your a bit shallow.

    Answer by melody77 at 11:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • It would be unfair to him to marry him being as you're not physically attracted to him. He deserves someone who loves him in every way. Set him free to find a woman who doesn't mind her man being a little overweight.


    Answer by ...Ruth... at 11:32 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • Your loss of attraction is not really because of the weight gain. If you were madly in love with him, the weight would not keep you from having desire for him. You need to get to the root of this and find out what it is that is keeping you from completely wanting to be with him. Only then you can change your feelings about him. If not - it will not get any better married or not. You owe it to yourself and to him to find out why you feel this way.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:35 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I am the one that asked this question. Thank you to everyone who had real advice and actually took the time to read the question before opening their ignorant mouths.

    I never said anything about leaving him. I wouldn't do that I love him. I obvisiously want to overcome this problem or I wouldn't have asked for advice. And I'm not shallow, I freakin human. I'm not the skinniest chick out there, wasn't even before I had kids I know I'm not perfect but there's a difference between 150 lbs(I weigh) and 300 lbs(est. of him).


    Answer by aegmo3 at 11:36 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I do love him and everything is great in our relationship except I know he fills kinda unfufilled b/c I'm not really into having sex with him therefore I'm not passionate about it. He is such a great guy and does so much for me I just wanna be everything I can for him. I have suggested in jioning a gym and as soon as finances improve we'll be doing that. I just feel bad saying things like that because I don't wanna make him feel bad about being overweight. I was the overweight girl in high school, I know how it feels.

    Answer by aegmo3 at 11:36 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I have solution that doesnt involve hurt feelings dealing with it or leaving... Start taking a walk at night. Tell him you want a healthy family and lifesyle. Make it a family thing. Cut the junk food back a lot thats in the house, replace it with fruit, popcorn and whatnot. Make some menu changes like chicken breast instead of meatloaf. Make it a whole family life syle change. The pounds will start to melt off. And since everyone is doing it he wont have hurt feelings because you think he is fat, you all will be healthyer. And as his effort pays off you might just change your mind about his wieght issue. Whatever you do dont make this a big issue or bring it up to him in a mean way or even a way that can be percieved on his end of mean. How would you like it if he said things like this to you so take my advice and make small changes with the whole family instead.

    Answer by twototsmom at 11:38 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

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