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Am I being selfish?

I have been with my husband for 13 years. We have a five year old daughter to gether. For 3 years I have been taking care of mother and father in laws with dementia by myself. Recently I have really been wanting to have another child but I have soooooo much stress on me that I think I would kill it while carrying it . I am getting older and would really love to have at least one more b ut I don't think my stress level is going down anytime soon. Any ideas of what I should do?

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Asked by maddiesmom03 at 11:47 PM on Oct. 12, 2008 in Trying to Conceive

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Answers (5)
  • That's a tough one. Are there any other family that can help carry the load? Dimentia is a difficult disease. These patients can become violent. I've seen it happen with my DH's grandmother. She would hit her husband and swear at him. Most of it came with frustration from not being able to express herself. Hope this helps.

    Answer by Maddape48854 at 11:53 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • some one should definitely share the load.. you only live once and one day you will be too old to have another baby.... then you will really regret it. maybe look into assisted care facilities.. some of those places are really great... good luck dear!

    Answer by VictinaG at 12:10 AM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • You def. can't be pregnant and be dealing with family with that disease. It could put you both in harms way, however if you want another child you should consider other options for them. It's now or never sometimes. See what your hubby thinks.....

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 9:59 AM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • find someone to help you out - a part time nurse aid - you need to put yourself first in this situation - i am sure they would feel realy bad if they knew they were the cause of your problems

    Answer by vakatia at 3:00 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • Thanks for all of your responses. My in laws are 75 and 79, so they are older and VERY stubborn. My mother in laws dementia is really bad so she doesnt understand the whole situation. I dont want them to feel bad about it. I have a 5 yr old as I said earlier and she doesnt get much of mommy's time either (unfortunately). I just thank God that she does understand. My husband is 1 of 8 kids and none of them help. I want another baby so bad but it just seems impossible. As far as pt time nurse aid they dont want anyone in their house and they simply refuse to go to dr. And as you may know they will always win the fight so their is no sense in upsetting them further. Maybe I should just forget abot it all, at least for a little while. I did want my daughter to have someone to grow up with though .

    Answer by maddiesmom03 at 10:52 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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