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3 Bumps

Friends that keep having babies

A friend of mine just turned 24, is pregnant w/her 4th baby, she still lives w/her mother in a 3 bedroom house w/about 4 or her older brothers and sisters, she has no job at times she wont send her daughter to school, and is w/the babys dad on& off, i know it should be none of my business but most of the time its me who she and her mom call assuming i will do favors for them or think i will let them borrow money me, i have my fiance and kids of my own, i am a stay at home mom myself but i wont have more than what i can't afford i cant see myself borrowingfrom friends, I have learned to just tell them no or simply not answer the phone. The only thing i asked her was if her bf was planning on marrying her n she laughed and said yea w/4 babys he better man up this time. Is tere any more i should tell her or just let it be.

Answer Question
 
gabby06

Asked by gabby06 at 11:35 AM on Sep. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,830 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • its kinda their business. If they feel its ok for them and they can handle it, then thats that.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 11:39 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Just let her be, don't give her any money, and I would probably stop associating with her. There's nothing wrong with four children, if you can afford them. If you're still living with your mother and your siblings and keep having babies with a man who isn't always there... I would just stay away. I'm not a judgmental person, but this seems to fall under a situation I would avoid.
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 11:41 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • let it me...how you have any time to love her when you are so busy judging her? you got it going on and are doing a great job~a wider pool of friends will give you better support than she can right now....that is her life's path....set some boundaries and say hi every so often....
    surfcitymom

    Answer by surfcitymom at 11:42 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I'd say my piece and let it be.
    Tab2

    Answer by Tab2 at 11:45 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • There is nothing you can say or do to help their situation. She is going to do what she is going to do. You can either be there for her, and support her in whatever decisions she makes and just not talk to her as much when her situation is getting to you. If you say anything it could ruin your friendship, however I would not being giving them money.
    queen.bee

    Answer by queen.bee at 11:47 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Honestly, if she was my friend I would tell her how I felt, but then I would let it drop.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:48 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I was in that situation before. I just ignored them, they eventually got the hint. She needs to understand that having all of those babies wont make her man stay. If he decide to leave her he will leave her and all of his kids behind.
    missthang42001

    Answer by missthang42001 at 11:49 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • *shakes head* I've got 3 kids with my ex and I would love to, at some point, have one or two with my boyfriend. Someday. Have to get my tubal reversed first though. But until then, I'm just trying to get on my feet so I can support the 3 that I have. Your friend, on the other hand, sounds like she needs some education in birth control.

    Ultimately, leave it be. It's her & her guy's business. It doesn't seem right, I know, but there's not really anything you can do. I would also recommend like some of the other ladies to even stop associating with her. You've got your own family to take care of and you can't really afford to support your family AND hers too.
    PaganMommy04

    Answer by PaganMommy04 at 11:51 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I mean i guess she is happy she has never told me that she isn't, I guess because my sisters and i were raised a differnt way, i know there is no such thing as a perfect life, it just seems like if she is where she is & wont be going anywhere, at times i do want to tell her to take care of herself so she can do more for her kids but like i sd idk if that would be my business.And its not that im trying to be judgmental towards her i just feel like if sometimes we do need to hear it from others.
    gabby06

    Comment by gabby06 (original poster) at 11:57 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I think you need to lose this friend. Sounds like a free loader to me. I'm not even talking about all the kids. Sometimes "accidents" happen and every child is a blessing but you have to grow up and take care of them on your own and be a responsible parent.


    I have 3 kids and none of them was "planned", but I rent my own house, they go to school everyday, I pay for all school activities, pictures, clothes, etc. with very little help. It's reasonable to need help from time to time but to just free load off of you and her mom is not just a little help from time to time. She needs to grow up!!

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 11:57 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

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