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Do you see divorce as a failure, a new beginning, or what?

Personally, I viewed it (for me) as failure until very recently, but things are great between me and my soon-to-be ex-husband. We're really close friends, and we've talked through everything, etc. I was terrified of being my parents (they got divorced when I was really little, like my daughter is now), but now I realize it's not that bad because they're best friends and have found real happiness else where. I think that some people come into your life to serve one purpose or a few, and other people are meant to be in your life permanently. I feel that my husband was meant to help me (and vice versa) with a few things that we needed to learn from life, but that we weren't meant to spend our entire life together.

How do you see divorce?

 
Mrs.BAT

Asked by Mrs.BAT at 12:36 PM on Sep. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 38 (105,028 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Well, it's not just one thing. It is a failure, it's a failed marriage. And it is a new beginning. You get a new chance at new relationships, to change, to grow.
    Even though it is a failed marriage, that doesn't mean the entire relationship is a failure, not when you can remain friends. It just means you didn't work as a married couple. Some people just don't work together that way.
    My first marriage ended in divorce. It failed. We certainly didn't remain friends. But I don't see it as a personal failure. I was the only one that did any work in the marriage.
    What exactly a divorce is though, is different for each person I think.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 2:29 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • It depends on the situation of cours, but personally for mine I sw it as a good thing. We were not meant to be and we realized that soon after the marriage began. Counseling wouldn't have helped because I honeslty didn't have love for him. I originally dated him because he was nice to me which no-one ever had been in my life... and the only reason I married him was because I let the relationship continue on longer than I should when I knew I didn't have the same feelings as him. I thought I could live with it because he was so nice to me.

    Luckily I tried to save him and myself more pain and aggrivation by ending it early.

    I learned also that I DO deserve to be treated well and to find someone that matters to me the same way I matter to them. I also allowed him to find someone else that would feel the same for him as he does for them and that would treat him as he deserves as well. :)
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 12:46 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • My views change on this, it depends on the situation. In some instances I say failure. If it was a really really bad relationship I would say a fresh start or new beginning.
    queen.bee

    Answer by queen.bee at 12:38 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I would feel it was a failure but if you are looking at it that way then it is awesome and shows a lot about you.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 12:41 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Wow this is a great question! Thank you for asking it! I am not divorced, never have been and don't plan on being and up until I read your response to your own question, I viewed divorce as just negative. I believe all things happen for a reason and certain people do come into your life to teach you something, whether they know you are learning from them or not. I think the word "divorce" alone makes people believe that they have to hate their ex spouse and have nothing to do with them except to share a child. Thank you again for asking this, really made me think about certain things outside the box.
    CassiRae3

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 12:42 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • No.To me,it's a part of my past & a new beginning.Also,You can look at it as a learning experience too.And what I do is remember that it took two.And if at all possible...try to remain friends.
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 12:53 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I see it as a solution to a problem.
    TessaHoney

    Answer by TessaHoney at 3:10 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • It's not failure. It's an opportunity to break from the wrong person and go find the right person
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:29 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • When I got divorced I saw it as a new beginning. I wanted a new start for me and my son (wasnt born yet) I was free from an abuser
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 6:20 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • If it happened to me, I would feel that I had failed. My hubby and I have been married for more than 45 years, and there have been plenty of times when either one of us could have called it quits, but when we married, it was for life. So we have viewed our differences as opportunities to grow in selflessness and to think about situations from the other's perspective, and every disagreement has proven to be a source of great growth in our learning how to be one in every sense of the word. We are still learning, even after all this time. So I have come to believe that it really does take a lifetime of problems and growth for the two to really become one, and I am so very thankful that neither of us ever gave in to our selfish desires to quit when things got really tough. Our marriage today is very strong and getting better with every passing day.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:53 PM on Sep. 4, 2010