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4 Bumps

Which death have you taken the hardest?

Concerning the deaths in your family. In the last fifteen years, four family members have died (that I'm aware of). I cried for each of them, but harder for others. When my father's mom passed away, I was a wreck. I was in the Navy at the time and my fiance (now husband) were just getting to our ship for work. My mom called me while we walked across the parking lot. I cried. Hard. I made travel arrangements that day and left the next day. I wore my whites uniform (the white cracker jacks) to the funeral, read a poem I'd written on the plane and left it with her in the casket.
Six years later, her husband followed her. I cried just as hard, but no words. He was a man of so little words, that I didn't want to clutter up his service. I was at work when my Dad called me. I was prepared to finish my shift (roughly three hours) but they told me to go home. My husband played Public Enemies for me at home to calm me.


Asked by _Tam_ at 4:49 PM on Sep. 4, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 30 (42,083 Credits)
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Answers (32)
  • I see death as another rite of passage in life, and not as a reason for sadness. But, I do remember feeling very upset at the death of my friend Jennifer. She died in a car accident at the age of 23. She was studying to become a nurse. It was such a waste of her life and her potential. It made me very angry. More so than when my mother died.

    Answer by witchqueen at 11:55 AM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I don't believe in any afterlife so death to me is pretty final and sad. My Grandmother dies two and a half years ago and I miss her more than anything. I just posted something about it on facebook last night. She was one of my few best friends.

    Answer by Melbornj at 5:04 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • some of my uncles and aunts have passed away and I cried but last year my first born twin son passed away and I've never taken anything harder. Obviously I have a closer connection to my son because he's my son but I never knew pain like that before, I hope to never go through that again.

    Answer by babyangelromero at 4:53 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Yep, it can be hard. But as long as we remember that they haven't really left us (. Even if a person doesn't believe in reincarnation...) then we haven't really "lost" them.. Even if someone doesn't believe in reincarnation, I still believe that their t family members who have passed are still with them, always, still a part of them, always.. KWIM.

    I try my best to always remember that. And that helps me when I start to go down the path of feeling sad. I remind myself that those people are still with me, they still touch me, they still are there for me, I can even speak to them whenever I want/need to (lol).. They are not lost to me..

    I know those things are cold comfort for some people. And I understand that. But for me personally, these thoughts (realization and acceptance) have always helped me make it through my losses with the least amount of pain and sadness possible.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:06 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • The hardest one for me was when I was younger and my papa died. That HURT. I still miss him SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much.

    Answer by Memigen at 5:08 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • In the past 8 years, my grandmother, both parents and my stepmother, an uncle and an aunt (plus several great-aunts and uncles). My parents were the hardest because of having to handle all the arrangements and estates instead of being "allowed" to just grieve. I think my mother's was the worst, though, because I was also pregnant. I didn't realize that until about a month after she passed, but looking back I can see that it was one hell of a mourning + hormones cocktail I had going on there.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 8:04 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • None really (from my father to my grandparents).

    Death is not a reason to be sad to me personally.. Death is just the ending of this life, with many more to come. I will encounter themn during my next lifetimes in one capacity or another, but encounter them I will. And if my family members who have left this lifetime are fortunate enough to ascend, then I will see them when I finally am able to ascend and no longer suffer the cycle of rebirth.

    So that's why I haven't taken my family members deaths very hard. I don't view death as a loss or an ending.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:54 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • my mom's.


    Answer by rfurlongg at 5:01 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • @pixie trix I agree with you. There will be times later to see them again, but it's hard to see them leave again.

    Comment by _Tam_ (original poster) at 5:01 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I have been soooo blessed that the only deaths in the family were 3 grandparents and all were in their 90s and went quickly.
    My last grandparent still living is almost 102.

    The hardest death was that of our neighbor boy.... senior year drunk driving accident... his friend was driving and survived.

    Answer by sahlady at 5:05 PM on Sep. 4, 2010