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4 Bumps

What should I do?

Every time my dh and I disagre about somthing he, gets this additude with me, and usually doesn't yell, but he does this thing that's exactly like yelling without raising his voice that much, talking down to me in a very harsing way repeating the same things over and over long after a desision was already made even if it was made in his favor. When he does this he can clearly see that he is hurting my feelings ( I think that's what he wants to do) he often continues this even if I tell him to stop, to drop it, or start crying. How do I stop him form doing this to me?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Sep. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Don't feed into him anymore. My husband is like that some times. I just tell him to get over it and move on. I don't argue with him at all. He knows that. He knows that if he wants to talk to me. He better talk to me like an adult and without yelling. Other wise he gets nothing from me at all.

    elly25

    Answer by elly25 at 6:35 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • That's emotional abuse. The only way it will stop is if he gets counseling.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 6:34 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • You go to marriage counseling. If he won't go, go yourself
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:39 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Counseling is about giving people tools to maximize their potential - and you can't give someone something they don't want. Regardless of how he "needs" to be communicating, you can't do anything about what he chooses to do. All you can do is choose your response.
    caseyandkids

    Answer by caseyandkids at 6:49 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I agree, sounds like marriage counseling would do wonders for you guys
    BradensMom1026

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 6:36 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • He needs to learn how to communicate like mature adult.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 6:43 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Emotional abuse!! He wants to hurt your feelings cuz he is hurt. My DF does the same thing
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 6:52 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Don't argue back with him. It's really boring when you are just talking to yourself. Take a walk, go read a book, lock yourself in the bathroom and take a bath. Just make him realize you are not going to respond to him when he acts that way. And flat out tell him that talking down to you is not respectful to you as a person and you will not tolerate that treatment. You might need a therapist or marriage counseling to help. If he won't go, you go anyway, it can help you learn how to deal with this.
    SophiaofLight

    Answer by SophiaofLight at 6:56 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Learn how to state your opinions without sounding argumentative. Then if he starts speaking you in a way that you don't like, simply ask him to stop and tell him if he doesn't, you are leaving the room or the house. Then keep your word. I also recommend you get the book BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It is very helpful in handling these kinds of issues and is much cheaper than marriage counseling.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:59 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • You have to stop it you have to want him to stop talking to you this way and it will be hard but only you can know what you want.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:06 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

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