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eating in front of guests

I keep going around and around with my kids about this. I was taught it is rude to eat in front of guests. If you don't have enough food to go around then you send the guest home or you don't eat.

My 10yo has her friend over and came into the kitchen (friend in tow) and started to make herself some dinner. I told her she couldn't eat until her friend left. She told me her friend already ate so it was okay and I argued that it was still rude. Of course her friend piped up that she didn't think it was rude to her. Grrr. She's still whining she is hungry but is refusing to tell her friend to leave until after dinner (we're just warming up leftovers so it's not a sit down deal, the kids are just eating when they are hungry). I'm refusing to back down. I don't care how people see it, it's rude to eat in front of someone if you don't have food to offer them. Anyone else agree?

 
justanotherjen

Asked by justanotherjen at 8:22 PM on Sep. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 26 (28,174 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • If that is your rule then she has to honor it. Period. I would have then told the friend that your daughter was going to have her dinner and they could play later or tomorrow, given her a time to return, and guided her to the door, thanking her for coming over.. Then go over the rules AGAIN with your daughter. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 5:54 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • While I totally agree that it is rude to eat in front of guests, why is your daughter allowed to refuse to tell her friend to go home? That isn't her decision, that's a parental decision. I decide when my children are allowed to have guests and when they're not. If I say it's time for the guest to go home, the guest goes home.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 8:29 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I have in the past told the kid to go home and come back in 30 minutes when it is time to eat, no matter if it is just a simple dinner like warming up leftovers
    togo90210

    Answer by togo90210 at 8:34 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I agree that its rude. One of my biggest pet peeves is that my son will go play at a friend's house and not come home when its obvious they're about to eat dinner.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 8:41 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I agree
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:27 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I always offer food to my friends and family, but we all have the kind of relationships where they know they can come over, walk into the kitchen and raid my fridge and it really doesn't bother me. It's a completely casual thing; I eat in front of my friends, they eat in front of me. However, if I have more formal company (like my father-in-law or that side of the family) I tend to agree with you but that's only because I don't want to have to invite him to stay for dinner, haha!
    SarahLeeMorgan

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 8:30 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • If the girl says shes not hungry, I dont see an issue... And why cant your children offer food to their friends? I almost think its more rude to send someone home so that you can eat, rather than offering them food. In most cases, they will deny the food anyways.
    Morgs7531642

    Answer by Morgs7531642 at 8:33 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • That is exactly how I feel. Did yo uhave advanced notice that the friend was coming over? If so then there should have been enough prepared for the guest as well. :)
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 8:40 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I completely agree, it is rude to eat in front of guests. And as parents, it's our job to teach our children (who don't yet know) what is right and what is wrong. We either do not eat when we have guests, or we invite the guests to eat with us. And I too decide when my children may have guests: the day one of them decides that it's ok not to follow my instructions regarding when it's time for a guest to leave will be the last time she's allowed to have guests for a very long time.
    caseyandkids

    Answer by caseyandkids at 8:47 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • i gotta ask one question, is this friend always coming over? if she's your kids bf then make sure you make a little extra food. cuz she's gunna be around alot. mom always kept pb&j in the house. we brought friends thats what we ate. i'm sorry i would be more upset that she didn't offer her friend anything than she tried to eat in front of her.
    noel1978

    Answer by noel1978 at 10:05 PM on Sep. 4, 2010