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4 Bumps

What should I think about grown kids who could care less about me?

I have one son who is a drug addict and cares only about that. My daughter hasn't seen me for over 3 years and can't seem to leave her abusive husband, to even visit me. She only calls out of obligation or when she and her husband are fighting. The other son is verbally abusive to me and was physically abusive, in the past.

I have been alone for over 10 years. I gave them everything I could and always showed them unconditional love. I've been through surgery, after surgery and none of them have been here for me. I feel like just deleting them from my life; yet, I can't. They all seem self-centered and act like I have a ton of years left, for them to visit me. I'm always the one who has to fly, go by train or drive. What should I do? This has caused me so many hours of pain and worry. I do love them, but I feel like none of them could care less.

 
Noonecares

Asked by Noonecares at 8:22 PM on Sep. 4, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • hugs

    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:26 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • have you told them how you feel?
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 8:24 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I'm probably alone in this but, I don't think just because someone is blood related, they are family. They do not act like they are your family so why should you treat them as such? If I were in your shoes, I would tell them how I felt then be done with them. Put the ball in their court. If they choose not to visit or call, it's their loss. Surround yourself with some really awesome friends and stop worrying about people who won't give you the time of day.
    I'm sorry you're in this situation. I think it's really crappy when kids turn their backs on their mother. *Hugs*
    dmdblleb

    Answer by dmdblleb at 8:43 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • My husband has a 24 yr old daughter who NEVER calls, heck when she had her daughter 2 years ago we only heard it through the grapevine that she had a baby she never called to announce the baby or anything....people ask me why I don't admit to having a step daughter and i tell them she needs to have a relationship with me if she wants the title of step daughter. Respect has to be earned it is not given. You are hurt and you have every right to be but you need to let go and move on, find something to occupy your time like volunteer or do crafts, just live your life and maybe one day something will happen where one of them will need you and it is then you can talk about things and work it out. You just need to stop wallowing if grief, that will not change anything. Reach deep down find out the things that will make you happy and do it, maybe even some anti depressents and therapy would help too. ((Hugs))
    togo90210

    Answer by togo90210 at 1:47 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • I'm not really sure what to tell you I'm kind of in the opposite postion my Mom doesn't want to talk to her kids well she will sometimes but she will call my dad every day even though they have been divorced for 8 yrs now and she is remarried she left him anyway well I guess we don't talk to my sd either because of her life still and the drama queen that she is or much to my son but they are adults and have chosen their lives. If you need a freind I'm here to listen.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 5:45 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • hugging

    mp3mom

    Answer by mp3mom at 1:56 AM on Sep. 30, 2010