Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Sexless Marriage

I have not had sex with my husband in over 6 mos. I have had some trust issues with him concerning him not telling me everything about fianances. Also, he thinks that he is the only one to go grocery shopping because he is the one with a job, but I am a stay at home Mom and it is not that I am irresponsible with money, because I am not. I really believe that it is a controlling thing with him. I feel like I am disconnecting with him?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on Sep. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Sex is a big part of marriage without it, you will inevitably drift apart and lose your closeness, love, intimacy. It all goes hand in hand. No sex in marriage can be destructive. I don't think what he's doing is right at all though keeping you homebound, I think I would be putting a stop to that asap before he gets too used to the idea, and then working on our marriage and trying to include sex when things get better. GL!
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 10:44 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Actual SEX isn't necessary important in marriage, but intimacy and closeness is...it is very possible to have those to things and be on opposite sides of the planet. I know that, because my husband and I have maintained those things very well through multiple deployments. With that said, in your case, I would suggest counseling. You have to trust each other, to be able to have that intimacy.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 11:33 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • I agree that trust is what is hurting intimacy and unfortunately it can snowball out of control. He is probably resentful because of the lack of sex and he pulls more and more away from allowing you access to the finances. He shouldn't be doing it in the first place though. If he's always had control of the money then that is a tough one. Maybe you can do some side jobs like petsitting, childcare or house-cleaning or something else that utilizes your other skills.
    ChicaThis

    Answer by ChicaThis at 12:19 AM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Have you talked about counseling? I certainly would.

    mp3mom

    Answer by mp3mom at 12:49 AM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • he may earn the money, but you care for his home and his children...the money should be shared evenly and you have every right to it that he does. i would discuss it with him and if he's not willing to budge then i would seriously consider leaving. this kind of control almost always leads to abuse. however, you didnt say exactly why you werent having sex. if you are witholding sex then that needs to change. i dont believe in witholding sex for any reason because it is such a sacred part of a relationship that using it as a weapon can cause irreparable damage. if he is the one witholding sex then just go ahead and pack your bags...he's either cheating or abusive or both.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 1:11 AM on Sep. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN