Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What to say when my six year calls her self stupid and dum!

What to say when my six year calls her self stupid and dum!
She have very low self esteam. Even With school work If she get one wrong She is done. She refuse to try anymore.

Answer Question

Asked by four2bmws at 12:11 PM on Sep. 5, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 14 (1,470 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • please don't talk about my favorite person that way!

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:13 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • I would find out where all this negative stuff is coming from. Kids don't act that way unless someone has been treating them and talking to them like they r dum and stupid. Maybe some kids r syaing that to your child.

    Answer by dancer at 12:14 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • tell her "you are not stupid or dumb and i dont want you to say that anymore. Making mistakes is how we learn. the more mistakes you make, the smarter you get!...Everyone makes mistakes, even Mommy."

    Answer by mamagee1218 at 12:15 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • you need to be a role model for her. Show her how to believe in herself, how to have confidence, how to complete small goals. Do something with her that you guys can both work on, like painting a bird house. When she completes it, let her know how proud of her you are. Children need love to give them pride. Without pride, they won't feel too good inside. They need to have the feeling that they CAN do things & you need to help her do that. Set up small goals that can easily be accomplished & when she wins that goal, keep reassuring her how proud she makes you. If she screws up or makes a mistake, still tell her you are proud of her. She is getting her lack of self esteem from somewhere & it's not too late to help her build that up. Positive reinforcement goes a long way with kids.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:16 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Yes, I agree with dancer. Kids mimic what they hear and how they learn to see themselves in the world, this generally starts very young and tends to become part of ones set of "self beliefs" that is carried into adulthood. Are there older siblings or caregivers that have provided your 6 y.o. with these beliefs? That needs to be addressed. Additionally, when you hear your 6 y.o. assign these negative attributes to her self one suggestion is to immediately have her re-phrase those statements in the form of positive ones. Best wishes.

    Answer by at 12:22 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • I noticed the same problem with my boys starting to use the word dumb and stupid and noticed that one of their friends was saying it often. Once day, when their friend was over I asked him not to use the words while at my house because it's not appropriate. This emphasized to my boys that I am attentive to their surroundings and pointed out the difference between right and wrong. So now, when they are alone with their friend and if he uses the word again, they know not to repeat it because I planted the seed that it is inappropriate. The same goes with supervising television and video games. Kids don't necessarily know something is wrong unless you point it out as early as possible. Of course, my husband thinks I am over exaggerating. You will probably have to correct multiple times for sure.

    Answer by ChicaThis at 12:31 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Encourage her. When she does something good let her know. Show her what she's done right. Especially if it's something doing with skill or talent. Let her know that she has that talent or that skill. Encourage her to try and encourage her to see what she does right. Don't overindulge her with praise, don't tell her she's doing it right if she's not, but do point out her good traits and her good points.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:17 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • When she gets it wrong let her know "June, it's okay to get things wrong. It's okay to make mistakes, but it's important to try again." And just encourage her that even when we fail we can succeed in the end if we pick ourselves up and try again.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:18 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.