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3 Bumps

How can I get this Conceive thing to work?

Hey my name is Tiffany, I just turned 18 and I'm married to a wonderful guy, who is in the military. So yeah, we been TTC for almost 2 years now and I'm very worried that I might not ever be able to have a baby. My husband and I haven't had intimacy in 2 months, its not the size or anything, just my body doesn't want to produce enough lubrication. My GYN suggest useing water based lub, that just makes the pain worst. It kind of feels like a carpet burn and like stinging cuts. My doctor gave me a pap and the smallest thing was even too big. I have been off and on all kinds of medicine for 2 years. I just cry everytime my husband and I try to have a go, because it hurts so much, and sometimes I try to deal with it, but its just to much pain. I would really like to have a wonderful moment with my husband before he deploys for a year to Afgan. I just don't know what to do. :( Please any advice I would try. Thank you so much. :)

Answer Question

Asked by TLynnHayes at 12:14 PM on Sep. 5, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Do oral or anal sex.

    Answer by countingsparows at 12:21 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Tough situation. My girlfriend had this problem. Eventually she got through it but it took her years of working with her husband. He really had to coach her to relax and go extremely slow. I know most of the time they both went unsatisfied for years but they are fine now. I think you have too much on your mind dearie. You are worried about the pain and you are worried about concieving. Focus on getting comfortable first and then think about conception. I recomend yoga classes to get you in tune with your muscles so you can realy focus on relaxing during intercourse.

    Answer by GoldenLinds at 1:38 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • I had this problem. It just takes one good moment and your body will adjust after that. You need to relax. Take it really slow. Don't rush into intercourse. Talk to each other and get in the "mood". Tell him you want light touches and kisses on your neck, tummy , etc. If you have to spend an hour to get your body to "awaken" to the mood, so be it. Once you reach that euphoric feeling to where you feel like "just letting it all go" you should be naturally lubricated and everything should go fine with no pain. :) Hope that helps.

    Answer by Erielle at 1:48 AM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Thank you all so much. I will deff look into some yoga classes, sound fun and I will do my best to get my body to relax, just got that gut, feeling I will never get it there. Hubs don't like being a romantic type of guy. :) lol But thank you all.

    Comment by TLynnHayes (original poster) at 1:59 AM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • it took me ages to be able to have sex. A lot of it is mental, if you aren't mentally there, it's really hard to be physically there. I'd also recommend a bit of wine, but you are so young...

    As far as lube goes, some people are allergic, and you really have to be generous with it to have it worth anything.

    Try either having him stimulate you or stimulating yourself to orgasm prior to sex. Then, do it you on top. You can go just a little, and back off, and again, until you can get it in.

    Answer by lovinangels at 3:24 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • If you are trying to concieve I would either used Preceed or raw egg whites brought room temperature.

    I know the egg whites thing sounds gross but it's the closest thing to natural fertile mucus. Without cervical mucus that is both good in quality and quantity it can be IMPOSSIBLE to conceive. The cervical mucus has to carry the sperm to the egg. Most specialist and OBGYNs who recommend this method recommend that you let the egg whites set on the counter in a both for AT LEAST 30 minutes until no longer cold. Then take a medicine suringe and push a suringe full inside your vagina just before sex.

    As for it hurting a lot of this is probably mental. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or him. That just means there might be something holding you back mentally. A lot of that could have to do with any deep seeded fears you may have about TTC. Maybe you are worried that he'll be deployed when baby comes...

    Answer by katelingerum88 at 4:40 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • or if you've ever had a bad sexual experience of any kind that could be holding you back. That could be anything from an inappropriate touch on your leg all the way up to rape. If that's the case I would recommend looking into counseling to work through the issues.

    If the problem is in no way mental and it's purely physical I would recommend trying different relaxation techniques before sex, especially during fertile times. There are many sexual massages such as having your husband massage your nipples with oil (EXTREMELY RELAXING in my experience) and then other parts of your body. Then have him try stimulating you without penetration. Once you've worked up to feeling okay about trying penetration have him enter SLOWLY and NOT ALL AT ONCE.

    I was 16 when I got married and sex was VERY painful at first. My DH had to only go in half way at first and work his way up over a few weeks. Now I'm completely fine!!


    Answer by katelingerum88 at 4:45 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • As for actually TTC I would recommend charting and using Taking Charge of Your Fertility Software.

    As far as the pain goes, it is probably more mental than anything else. Maybe it would help to see a counselor, someone who could help you work through anything mentally that might be holding you back. Sometimes things hold us back that we don't even realize are holding us back.

    Make sure that your DH is taking it slow and try to relax. Good Luck.

    Answer by hsmominky at 5:19 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • It is called forplay.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:40 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

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