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We were invited to a family wedding...Are we obligated to go?

My husbands nephew is getting married and we were invited,so were our 3 children.My question are we obligated to go?It was mentioned that it is black tie and if you show up in anything different you will be asked to leave!!I think that is rude..of course I would not show up in ripped jeans etc...but we are not "dress up" people and for us to have to spend all that money on clothes for one day I think is just crazy.The wedding is not at a church and the reception is at a "regular" place not a fancy resort.I was looking foward to going and having a good time and my daughter is so excited but my husband I think is trying anyway out..What would you do or what do you think?How would you handle this?


Asked by Sunflower722 at 1:24 PM on Sep. 5, 2010 in Just for Fun

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Answers (16)
  • You do not have to go but do send a card with some money. My daughters uncle was getting married and asked the guests to dress in pastels, (The bridesmaid's were wearing pastels and they wanted the guests to fit the theme of pastels) well my girls did not attend the wedding. I'm not going to spend extra money to cater to someone's, request for the way they want the guests to dress.

    Answer by togo90210 at 1:37 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • I would not waste my time or money on a wedding like that. Save the money and send a nice card.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:29 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Try talking to your nephew's parents and see what they say about the attire. If they confirm the dress code, tell them you won't be able to attend. I personally would have my husband rent a suit, and I would buy a dress; I love getting dressed up every now and then, it's a great confidence booster!

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 1:32 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Not only that but take the hundreds of dollars you are saving to go on a little vacation.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:29 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • If I were close to the family member getting married I would go. If not I would atleast send a good gift.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 1:33 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • I wound not go and not think twice about it! There are other things you could be doing with your money rather than dressing up for a wedding you dont wan to go to.

    Answer by missthang42001 at 1:34 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Find out what their definition of "black tie" is. We have been to weddings that stated that on the invite, and were the only ones there in a tux (Dh owns one) and longer evening gown. I'm going to bet that a nice suit, or even shirts with ties would be appropriate for the males, and a pretty dress fine for the women, especially if the event isn't at a country club or other exclusive venue.

    Answer by Scuba at 1:47 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • It is a tough situation. I say if u r on speaking terms with your family and have the money to put out there for new clothes then go. If not don't go!

    Answer by dancer at 1:44 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Thanks SleepingBeautee...I"m worried about upsetting the "family" and my mother in law said she would buy the kids outfits, but that's just not the point.Family drives me crazy!! My daughter is looking foward to it and I don't want to disappoint her..Ughh.

    Comment by Sunflower722 (original poster) at 1:33 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • the clothing requirements are crazy~you ask people to come to your wedding to witness your union, to be a support for the union~if the one married person calls me complaining about the marriage, I feel obligated to remind them~hey I was there..I saw you so happy~you told me to support you in this quest and I will~no dis'ing the spouse..I was there!).

    if it is only for show...they I have better things I need to get to. If your family and friends to be your supports of this marriage...invite them in their glory...not the some made up idea of what people SHOULD look like...

    I'd leave the kids home...unless you think you can pull off these outfits again. I'd show up with hubby dressed in your glory...a little black dress and hubby in a black suit with a cool tie....he can rent if he likes~

    Answer by surfcitymom at 1:39 PM on Sep. 5, 2010