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3 Bumps

In adoption, when to have the baby shower?

DH and I are waiting to adopt. We haven't been matched (after 8+ months) and there is nothing on the horizon. But we have friends who want to give us gifts, it's like they want to give us shower presents. I am thinking we'll have a before birth shower and an after relinquishments are signed shower, but how to handle the before birth shower? What to call it? How to send out the invites and telling people "there's no baby yet but..."? What experience do you have?


Asked by TwoBrownDogs at 4:30 PM on Sep. 5, 2010 in Adoption

Level 15 (2,099 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (28)
  • I would do a "Welcome Baby Home" party. That way everyone can bring gifts and meet your new baby. Good luck on getting matched soon!

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 4:33 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • My parents didn't have my baby shower until after they brought me home, but this was in 1986. Not sure what the etiquette would be now.

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 4:33 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • i would wait, are you trying to be matched with a pregnant mother who is wanting adoption? then i would wait untill you are matched and that way you can be more prepared......knowing sex of the baby, ect... and if you are adoptinga n older child you need to wait to know age, sizes, sex,

    Answer by cassie_m at 4:33 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • I think it's better to wait until after you've gotten the child and have the party then. You will know much more about what you will be needing to care for the child.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:36 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • I agree that I think it is best not to have a party until you bring the baby home.

    Answer by hollyanne31 at 5:28 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Personally I would wait until you have the baby home, but not necessarily until after finalization. For our first, some friends threw us a shower when she was one month old, then my aunts had another shower when she was two months old. We finalized at five months.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 6:04 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • I would wait till you bring the baby home. "Welcome home baby" party is best

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:52 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • About 20 years ago my aunt and uncle adopted. They were on a waiting list for years though. Their baby shower was about a week after they brought my cousin home.

    Answer by FeelinYummy at 4:53 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • The welcome home party sounds like the way to go

    Answer by elizabr at 5:16 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • OP-when people ask if we're having a shower ahead of time, a la a pregnancy, is it rude to tell them that we'll have one when baby comes home? When I said this to a friend, she said "But how will people BUY YOU STUFF then?!" I just didn't know what to say to this, because, can't you buy the baby stuff after she or he arrives? :)

    I think you hit the nail on the head with "a la a pregnancy". Get used to informing your friends/family how things are different in adoption. Yes, OF COURSE, they can buy stuff afterwards! It's a lot easier to receive a timely gift, than to return a premature one. I also don't like "jinxes". We had an impromptu party with family & friends (including flowers & gifts because ppl were prepared, but NOT premature) immediately following the courtroom proceedings. The following week, invited friends & neighbors who had prayed with us for YEARS to celebrate the "official" addn. We'd had him 2+ yrs then.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:35 PM on Sep. 5, 2010