Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Anyone have to deal with getting your ex sign over their rights?

I have a son from a previous marriage and my DF wants to adopt my son to be his own and he wants to have his name changed and I am all for this. I wanna know how do you go thru the process and how hard was it?

 
noahsmommy12908

Asked by noahsmommy12908 at 6:21 PM on Sep. 5, 2010 in Adoption

Level 19 (6,645 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • If your Child's Dad has had no contact at all then that will work in your favor. However, by law they have to serve them with papers and give them a chance to appeal. The first step is to contact a Lawyer. Most family lawyers will work with you on costs, especially if they think they are giving children a better life.
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 12:51 AM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Not hard to do, but involves a lawyer.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 6:23 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • well in oregon there has to be no attemted contact for 2 full years and then you get a lawyer and it costs around 6000$
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 6:30 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • i think if he never took care of the child or tried to have any type of relationship with the child he doesn't have rights. i would contact a family law lawyer.... good luck!!!
    pinkdena

    Answer by pinkdena at 6:30 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Has you been married for one year? Has you ex had any contact with your child for one year? Do you know where they live (city/state)? Most will have you post an add in the local newspaper (where he lives) saying that your child is being adopted. You have to wait for a short span of time for him to respond to it. If he doesn't respond then they will let your husband adopt the child. If he does you have to go through mediation or court to get him to sign over his rights. Either way you have to, in some way, let him know. Most states will call it child abandonment if he's not had any form (talk, card, or letter) with the child and take him rights away with little to know issue.


     Talk to a lawyer about it. All states have different laws for adoption.

    elly25

    Answer by elly25 at 6:31 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • I am not so sure about statutes on this....if someone is unable to locate their child for years, it's still ilegal. If that was the case we could just take the kid into hiding until enough time went by. My mom was going to do this with her husband when I was 12. My dad had not been around for 12 years. Her lawyer told her she still had to get his permission. She couldn't find him and she felt if she contacted him he would try to control the situation in a very unhealthy matter due to the fact he was an alcoholic and was abusive. I think you need to get leagal advice from a family law attorney.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 6:35 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • Was it hard for your SO? How did your ex react?
    noahsmommy12908

    Comment by noahsmommy12908 (original poster) at 6:25 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • We were married for a year and I left him when I was 4 months pregnant. My son is almost 3 now and he has not had contact with him at all
    noahsmommy12908

    Comment by noahsmommy12908 (original poster) at 6:34 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • He knows my address and my home phone # so I am not doing anything illegal. I have no idea where he is and I dont know his #
    noahsmommy12908

    Comment by noahsmommy12908 (original poster) at 6:38 PM on Sep. 5, 2010

  • It doesn't matter. No one said you were doing anything illegal. I was simply explaining a hypothetical point of why the law is the way it is. My SIL tried doing this too. I know it's what you want, but I'm just telling you our experiences, you asked. My SIL is in vegas and attempted to do so. Didn't work out so well. Unless he is agreeing to do so(which is possible), you could have a nasty spat on your hands. Sometimes it better to leave things the way they are instead of making a huge mess if it doesn't go according to plan. It's a peice of paper. I have two dads. Good luck!
    Also, you would have to be able to prove with reasonable doubt in front of a judge that he could contact you.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 6:56 PM on Sep. 5, 2010