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Advise!!!

I need some advice on saving my relationship with my seven year old son? alittle about the sittuation well I do not have custody of him, my ex-mother in law does and I feel like she is trying to be his mother and push me right out of his life. I try to call everyday, write to him exc. I get to talk to a answering machine every time! nothing for mother's day, birthday nothing she is not trying to act like i am his mommy. I don't think she ever had plans on reuniting us. I got to visit him for his b-day and a mother's day art from his school that had their picture in it, on his wall, I asked her what what was that? she said my son and his teacher made it for her! so, I just do not know what to think!? or do? I am so stuck. and badly hurt! diseved! just flooded emotions.!! I was just wondering what can I do? say? just any thing? T his has been going on for 4 years, and I am having a hard time on affording an attorney.

 
christina200107

Asked by christina200107 at 2:15 PM on Oct. 13, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (4)

  • I can't keep thinking what was it that happened four years ago that you lost custody. But in reality this doesn't matter. I was a ward of the court until i turned 18, and for as much as other people are in your childs life, no one will ever replace you. It doesn't matter how long you are apart, you are still his mother, so don't worry about someone else trying to replace you.

    I would suggest to never stop calling, never stop visiting, don't give up. If visitation rights and call time are being violated you need to get in contact with the court or the attorney assigned to you, which i know for a fact that you don't have to pay.

    Be thankful for those taking time to raise your child, this can never be repaid. Sometimes there is a strained in the relationship when either side gets competitive, but your are the mother, and someone else may pretend they are, but they are not. Be strong, and don't give up : )

    Best of luck
    krubalc

    Answer by krubalc at 7:48 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • ok im not trying to be heartless or rude but there has to be a reason that she has custody and quite possible if it was best for him to be with her its best for him to have as normal a life as possible and that might mean thinking of her as his parent. NO its not easy for you but its not about YOU its about what will make him the happiest, best person he can be. I am sorry that this is happening to you and your son
    Rysana

    Answer by Rysana at 2:19 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • My Mom had to give me and my brothers and sisters to my Grandparents on my fathers side till she got straightened out. She went through one heck of a time. But she used that time to get an education. Then when she came back in our lives she was all the better for it. She is one of the strongest ladies in my life. Sure she had made mistakes but we seen that she was trying to improve herself so she could be there for us the best way she could. Just wanted to give you insite from a grown person that has been there as a child. Be there how you can
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:54 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • I agree; as heartless as this sounds, it does sound as though you are more concerned with yourself than your son. I'm sorry! It's not a judgment, but I'm not hearing how you want the best for HIM here. If you really do, then go to Legal Aid, or County and see what they can do to help. Attorneys are expensive, and if you have a "past" it can be even more so. Your son was taken away for a reason. Now you need to prove you are no longer the person you once were. Start slow. Tell your MIL how you feel, and keep a written journal of all the attempts you make to contact her and your son. Arrange for supervised visits. Show HER how you've changed, and little by little maybe you can see him more. Good luck. Blessings!
    ChefMom94

    Answer by ChefMom94 at 7:28 PM on Oct. 13, 2008