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would you judge me for this?

i have a hard time making friends, we move frequently being army and im a busy mom, been dealing with medical issues etc. the past year but the times i do get out, i just dont make any good friends. im starting to wonder if half the reason is ppl judge me for my looks. im a nurturing, open minded mommy who loves to bake cookies for her friends and host dinners(i love to cook) but when ppl see me..they see blood red hair, pierced lip, stretched out ear lobes, tattoo's and instantly assume im a bitch or mean? im not one for comformity and i wont hide my tattoo's to appease others, but im starting to wonder if my looks are making ppl instantly judge im someone that im not

 
moki1984

Asked by moki1984 at 3:39 PM on Oct. 13, 2008 in Relationships

Level 11 (573 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (73)
  • Maybe people are judging you because of the way you look. But if those people are judging you = then those people are not the type you want to socialize with anyway. Right? I have a few tattoos and I keep them visible. Some people really freak out. (especially at church lol)
    rivmom

    Answer by rivmom at 3:42 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • There's alot of people that do. Don't judge a book by its cover. I even tend to do it. I think they're a certain way and than when I get to know them I realize they're the opposite of what I thought. It's hard to do because we are human but the people that are willing to get to know you will be true friends.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 3:43 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • an elderly woman stopped me asking me about my tattoo on my arm, its large and its a seraphim angel for my daughter. she told me she though tit was really artsy and gorgeous and ownderful i got permanent art for my daughter...then 5 minutes later a woman in her twenties gave me a "snickety" look and said someting to her husband/boyfriend about "how trashy, look at her arm" ive come to find that its usually the younger women who judge me, while the elderly seem to always appreciate my artwork hah. thought it would be the other way around
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 3:46 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • Yes, there are ppl out in this world who judge others because of their looks. Which is dumb.
    I just saw your picture on your profile, i think you are beautiful.

    The people who judge you arent the ones you want as a friend anyway - so dont bother with those.

    I was nice, can i have a cookie now? :))

    Serious, i wouldnt give a damn about those idiots who judge you because how you look. youre a really pretty woman.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 3:49 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • There was an article in some parenting magazine awhile ago, cant remember which. Anyway it was about mom with tats, it was awsome and non judgemental. I have piercing and tats too so I get the same thing. I do live in an area were it is more ok though
    gavrilmom

    Answer by gavrilmom at 3:49 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • yeah unfortantly ppl do, i have the same problem cause i have piercings and tatts. i took out my lip ring oneday and put on some dress clothes and everyone talked to me, but when i have my piercings and stuff in i just nasty looks and ppl treating me like im a child. it sux but some ppl are just closed minded. what i did is joined a local group called mother to mother and made friends that way. we also had a young lady recently move here and she has lots of piercings and tatts and everyone labled her a whore even b4 they knew anything about her its so stupid . good luck on making friends
    bonnie-jo

    Answer by bonnie-jo at 3:55 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • To be honest, you look like you would screw someone's hubby behind her back. Please don't be offended but that would be the first impression I had of you so I would get as far away as possible. It's not you at all it's just your appearance. It would be different if I actually knew you to be a nice person. Then I wouldn't mind being your friend at all. But please don't ever change who you are for people who make assumtions like this without even knowing your name.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • I had a hard time with this too. When I was younger we moved a lot, and we still do. I used to be really into the punk scene when I was 13-19 yo. It was really hard making friends. I really love punk music, but I don't dress like I used to. I had to change, I was tired of the shit. And it's kind of hard to be to taken seriously by your professors, or find decent paying jobs when you have a tri hawk. I try not to judge people on how they dress, because I know what that feels like. It sucks, I really don't know what to tell you because I'm now a tourist in mainstream America. I just wanted to tell you that I can empathize with you. Good luck.
    OOHPFG

    Answer by OOHPFG at 4:01 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • Ok, let's consider this. ARMY = Conservative Blood red hair, piercings and other non conforming stuff = Not very conservative. ARMY = Rigid, rules, ritual You = open minded, free thinking. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most Army folks are "army" and are conservative and opinionated. It's sort of like a nerd going into a hard ass biker bar.....just on looks alone there is immediate non-acceptance. Your choices are to 1) change (not recommended imo) or 2) let them get to know you as a person. You'll have to go the second mile to let them know you are not what they apparently think you are. I live in an Air Force community so know you have your work cut out for you. Good luck with it!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:01 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • i used to bein the army myself i had normal hair and no piercings and i was a good soldier. but me personally, i feel attractive with my hair and my tattoo's, i feel attractive with these additives...i feel boring and i just dont feel pretty when im wearing khaki's and a plo shirt..its just not me. just got new neighbors, i brought them a basket with candles, cookies, cleaning products, towels etc. and since then they havent said hi once...i feel like i did my part....i did something fo rthem to welcome them and tried being nice, if they are going to "shun" me cause i look different...well then no more homemade cookies for them!im trying to get a army mom work out group going, if it works hoepfully ill make some friends that way.
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 4:07 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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