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Stay at home advice regarding family

Hey Mommas

I have a VERY independent "feminism" family who hates the fact I stay home with my 10mos son, Mason. Currently my husband is deployed for a year and I moved closer to home for "support" but all I have received is comments like "stop being lazy", "get off your ass", "stop relying on a man", etc. remarks from my family. This is the FIRST time I have every been a SAH momma, before I worked over 40 hours at week for the USAF.

Ladies do you have any LOVING advice and tips for dealing with this situation?? My family makes me question staying at home and constantly berates me and makes me feel like a "loser" for choosing too..

Blessings,
Nikki

Answer Question
 
Masonyastesmom

Asked by Masonyastesmom at 3:49 PM on Oct. 13, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Staying at home is the hardest job in the world and the most rewarding. I work but if I could stay home than I would LOVE too! Your family obviously never got to be a SAHM so they have no clue. I got to stay at home for the first 6 months with my dd and it was the best and hardest thing ever. Just ignore them as best as you can. Everyone has an opinion.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 3:53 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • I tell them that you just had a baby ten months ago, you want to spend time with your child because they alreay grow up too fast, and one day you look forward to getting another job. I don't know if you do or not, but that might buy you some time. Good luck!
    KatieBatey

    Answer by KatieBatey at 3:54 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • Sweet heart DO YOU! Life is too short to worry about what other people think about you ,including your family! If you and your husband agree that you being a SAHM works best for your family then that is ALL that matters. Have you ever considered that MAYBE they are Jealous!!! LOL!!!
    thedies

    Answer by thedies at 3:55 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • I would say go on amazon or even just look at the bk store or library and find some bks on being a SAHM. They will give you the confidence to say things back, and feel better about your choices. Look into finding some SAHM groups and friends. Feminism is all about having the right to chose to follow what you want, if you went to work and didn't want to it would be very much not feminism! Also try my fav comment. I love you but this topic is not open to disscussion.
    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 3:56 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • you know what dont listen to them if you can aford it then stay at home as long as you want... i stay at home, you know what tell them would you rather my son go to someone that might harm him the best person to watch him is you...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • The bond ur creating with ur child is something really special! Its proven fact that kids who's parents give them positive attention in the first 5years of life grow up to be more secure and goal orientated adults! And yes a sahm is giving positive att! Years from now ur kid will appreciate u more! :)
    luschram

    Answer by luschram at 4:10 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • Sounds like jealousy speaking to me. I was a SAHM until my youngest went to school, and it was the best thing that I ever did, because I could. I never regret one day being there when they were growing up. They learned so much and learned that I loved them no matter what. Now they are out of school and great young ladies, and they are that because the foundation was laid when they were young.When I did start to work, it was during the time that my girls were in school, and I was with them when they came home. Don't listen to them, just shrug it off and realize why you are doing what you are and think about the outcome.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:26 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • I'm so sorry to hear that you don't have any support coming from anyone your close to (in proximity). Try to get involved in some moms groups in your area specifically for sahm's.

    If they are continually not supportive, I'd start spending less time with them. Let them know that you want to raise your children, rather than having someone else do it.

    I commend you for making that decision despite the general opinion your family has about staying at home.
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 4:33 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • tell them you make the CHOICE to put being a mother above anything else, that is the most selfless thing you can do. being a mother is not easy, ive been i nthe army..and let me tell you im more stressed being a sahm then i was being a soldier. being a strong woman is NOT bout beinga career whore wh puts independence over family...being a stroman woman is about following your heart and doing what makes you and your own happy in life. just tell them, its a choice to put your daughter first. i hate feminists who think your weak if yorua sahm. its so selfless and gives your child such a good base to grow from
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 4:38 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • I would nicely tell them that it's YOUR life and you make your own decisions. They had/have their chance to live their life the way they choose and it's really none of their business. Let them know that you moved closer to get support and you don't feel like you're getting it and if they have problems with your choice to be a SAHM then they should keep their opinions to themselves. I personally love being able to be there for all the milestones my son hits and am proud of the way he is turning out thanks to the one on one time I get to spend with him. If he were to be in daycare I would be scared of what I might miss, ie: walking, talking, crawling, etc. Hope I was of some help to you and hope all goes well for you.

    Mom2Dano

    Answer by Mom2Dano at 7:40 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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