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am I being too jealous

My husband has a best friend that is a girl, and I don't like it. I think that I should be his only best friend that is a girl. Now don't get me wrong i have no problem with him having girls that are friends, but a best friend? I hate it. They've been best friends for like 5 years (much longer then I have known my husband) and he will not change from her being his best friend to just a friend. I mean I understand I had a guy that was my best friend forever, but when I got married i told him that my husband was my best friend now. I just hate it because my husband is always talking to his "best friend" he talks to her constantly on text and won't tell me what they're talking about. and if I pick up his phone he freaks out. I just wanna know if I'm being too jealous and need to just let it go

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Oct. 13, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (28)
  • whether its being to jealous or not, that would bother me!
    CNehneva

    Answer by CNehneva at 3:57 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • It sounds like his secrecy is the problem. Have you asked him why he is being secretive, and told him that it makes you feel insecure? I think it is a natural reaction to feel jealous and suspicious when your spouse behaves like that. It would probably make y ou feel a lot better if he included you in the conversations and chats. The question is, what will you do if he refuses to change his ways and be more inclusive?
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 3:59 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • If she is only his friend he shouldn't be worried about you reading his texts. I would confront him about it. I don't think it is overly jealous of you, especially if he is acting like he has something to hide.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • Two things....One: You knew she was his best friend when you married him, so I don't think he should have to change that. Now, on the other hand...there shouldn't be ANY reason why he should care if you see texts or hear a convo between the two of them. That right there would make me suspicious. As your husband, he should care that that causes you anxiety & knock it off. Once you're married, no other relationship should come before yours. Good luck!
    campbellgirl

    Answer by campbellgirl at 4:01 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • First off my best friend is a male and we have been friends for over 20 years. However when I married we had to let go a little.That meant that we did not talk as much to each other and my husband was my new best friend. My husband and best friend began to get to know each other and we were able to do coulpe thing's.Because of this I did not have to worry about any jealousy on my husbands part. Now your husband not wanting you to look through his phone poses many other questions! Also the fact that he does not share with you the thing's he and his best friend talk about would make me very uncomfortable and i would star to wonder if they are sexually involved.
    thedies

    Answer by thedies at 4:01 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • The secrecy is what would bother me 2!!! I would just explain it to him. Yall are suppose to share everything with each other.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 4:02 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • I've asked him why he won't tell me what they are talking about and he says it's because I don't ask.... and i do, he just doesn't answer. I mean his best friend lives like 5 hours away. He says that I shouldn't be jealous because he's not close to her. But I can't help it, because they haven't always been best friends.... at one point they were best friends with a little bit of benefits thrown in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • what is he doing getting a girl best friend inthe middle of your relationship if youve been with him longer?
    vadasmom

    Answer by vadasmom at 4:02 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • that would bother me.... if we wont let you see what they are talking about then there is something going on.... sorry to tel youthat but if there was nothing between them then he wouldnt care if you looked at his phone
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • Why don't you try a reversal? Talk to your male friend all the time on the phone and be very secretive. See how he likes that!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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