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What would you tell your daughter if she was being teased at school because she is small breasted?

I am struggling with a 7th grade 11 year old tween that is getting teased at school because she is small breasted. I encourage her by telling her at this age it is better to be small and not everyone develops at the same time. She was moved ahead a grade in 2nd grade and is developmentally a year behind other girls. Some of the girls in gym class especially can be so mean. I hate it when she comes home crying.

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Asked by DeboraC at 2:37 AM on Sep. 6, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I dealt with this as a tween - I developed way slower than the other girls (and even now, I'm a 32AA). So, coming from the perspective of someone who went through what she is, I would remind her why she is a little behind physically - because she was intelligent enough to get ahead of all those other people mentally. That, and I would start trying to build her confidence. Tell her that you think she is beautiful, remind her that one day she will develop more, but everyone develops at their own pace. If she still focuses on that, build her confidence in other parts of her appearance - her pretty hair, her nice smile, etc. And build her confidence in other areas as well, such as her intelligence, friendliness, and talents.

    Answer by WomanWitty at 2:57 AM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Honestly it doesn't matter how big or small they are she's going to get teased. She could be the most popular girl in school and it would still happen. I was always small and it definitely caught up with me later in life. Now I'm bigger than every girl who made fun of me and I still get teased for it. Its a part of growing up and the important thing is being confident in her own body and not letting them get to her. It she's really struggling with self esteem and her body try this excercise. Have her write out a list of 20 Physical characteristics about herself that she is proud of/ likes. Then have her do the same for 20 Personality traits she likes. Reminding her of what she does like in herself could help give her the security to withstand the ridicule.

    Answer by GoldenLinds at 3:01 AM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Been there, felt and experienced all that! Tell her that if she stays smaller, at least she doesn't have to worry about back, shoulder, neck, etc. problems that those with larger breasts do. I wished for breasts for years and now I wish I hadn't. I went from a 34B in 8th grade to a 34DDD by 10th grade, and that's the size I am now, 5 years later. It SUCKS having bigger boobs! If you're into giving her a comeback or something like that (some people are), you could tell her to say something like, "Well at least mine are still going to look good in 30 years." It's mean, and it's probably wrong, but a lot of the time it's at least partially true, and it will probably shut them up. (I'm feeling kind of cynical tonight, ignore me if you like lol.)

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 3:05 AM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Maybe the bully girls are trying to draw attn to your DDs small chest to detract from their own unattractive features, like the sex change they had over the summer ;) lol

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:47 AM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • how big could the other girls be??? they are only in 7th grade.

    I like what womanwitty said!

    Answer by sahlady at 10:34 AM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • She's not being teased; she's being bullied. If she's told the girls to back off and they haven't, it's time to investigate the school's policy on bullying. The locker room is a prime place for bullying because it's not as well-supervised as a classroom or even a hallway is. You and she need to document these incidents and take them to the gym teacher, then the principal if necessary. Girls should feel safe dressing out for gym in the locker room.


    Answer by May-20 at 4:16 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Girls are so vicious. It's too bad she's probably too young to appreciate all the trends and fashions flatter girls can wear that us busty women look ridiculous in! But seriously I agree with May-20. There is no reason she should be mocked in the school locker room, but I do worry that she would get further harassed if they girls think she "tattled".

    I think helping her build confidence like womanwitty said is crucial because the best way to deal with this is for her to laugh at/with them. If the next those girls made fun of her she laughed and made a silly joke about it the bullies would be powerless! And they can't make fun of her if she is too confident in herself to care what they say.

    Answer by Chloeek86 at 11:43 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • The next time the girls tease her, she should say something like "Why are you looking at my chest anyway?" or something like that. And like a PP said, she should laugh with them or just smile at them like it doesn't bother her. It's hard, I used to get teased because I had (have) a big chest. The boys were awful and one even wrote me a note that flat out said "You have big t*ts." As angry and upset as I was, I ignored him, never even brought it up or looked at him and he left me alone after that.

    Answer by nmmama09 at 3:49 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

  • I was a 32C in 6th grade, and I got made for being so skinny, and having tits- No matter what you do, she'll get made fun of. She needs to learn that they only tease her because she has something they want, and they feel the need to tear her down to make themselves feel better.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:00 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • I'd take this to the school. It's not teasing, they're bullying her. We have bully laws now. I'd find out what rules your school has. if it continues, or gets worst I'd get the authorities involved. There is no excuse for such behavior. I was bullied in school. I only wish they had the laws back then that we have now.

    Answer by lioness3e at 5:55 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

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