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2 Bumps

Abortion or Not?

I have a 13 month old and I am now 7 weeks pregnant by my childs father who I am not with, who lives a hr and 1/2 away from us. Me and My son's father will be on good terms and then get on bad terms. I am just fed up and I can't deal with his sometimey ways so I am done with him period. I don't know how i will financially be able to take care of my son plus another child alone. He already doesnt help with my son financially "like he should"...he doesnt work at all only attends college. I cry everyday thinking about having an abortion. I just feel so alone and don't know what to do. I don't want to have an abortion and go into depression or something. But I don't want to bring a baby in this world and can't really provide for him/her. Any advice, encouraging words, or similar experiences?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Sep. 6, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (23)
  • I could NEVER kill my child because of those reasons.
    I think adoption would be a GREAT choice. Your first child is young enough that you could probably do this very quietly... with out too much emotional issue.

    Answer by sahlady at 12:15 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Advice? Birth control and improved decision making in the future.
    For now? Be more gentle with yourself regarding your decision - it's a tough decision to make, and even if it's hard you need to do what's right. Decide what's right for you, accept it, and follow it through.

    Answer by yoliplus6 at 12:15 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • maybe give up for adoption????

    Answer by pinkdena at 12:15 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • It is ultimately your choice, but there are options for you out there. Wherever you live there should be some sort of financial assistance for unwed mothers and their children-state funded programs like WIC, and medical insurance. There are many young women in your position. and there will be many women who may pass judgement but you have to do what is best for you. Good luck, hun.

    Answer by BisketLiss at 12:16 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • And don't listen to what other people would or would not do - it's not their life and it's not their choice. Decide what's right for you, just as every other woman here makes their own decisions. Don't feel guilty because they choose to use emotion-evoking words such as "kill".
    Notice that in either of my answers, I did not tell you what I would do .. that's because what I would do is not relevant. You need to do what is right for you.

    Answer by yoliplus6 at 12:17 PM on Sep. 6, 2010


    just to look at options.... abortion will kill you inside. i had a friend that killed her self because she was so depressed after going though with it

    Answer by pinkdena at 12:18 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • You dnt know how hard it is to have a kid until you have a 2nd one, i have 2 & am w/my ds father, the 1st isnt his but yea its still hard, sorry you are goung through this, at the end it will be up to you, i too have had an abortion n for the same reasons, i was also thinking about having one w/my 2nd of course i love him to death but i know my life would of been a little easier if i had gone through w/it.

    Answer by gabby06 at 12:18 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I know an amazing couple that spent years and a lot of money trying to get the chance to have what you got twice. I wish babies were as easy to come by for those who want one.

    Answer by khedy at 12:19 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Ok... I DID have a knee jerk reaction... sorry. Point well taken yoliplus6.

    Let me give you two encouraging stories. A family member of mine was in the exact same situation. She gave the second child up for adoption the first never knew and she got married years later and had a third. Everyone had a blessed life.

    A woman I know has a son from a situation similar... accept the mother and father were actually married. The boy is the light of my friends life and is so greatful for what his mother did.

    I can not imagine how hard the choice is... but you have an opportunity here... focus on that.

    Answer by sahlady at 12:25 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I was recently seperated from my first daughters bio who didn't and still doesn't support his daughter. I dated a guy for about 5 months and he drugged me and then had sex with me resulting in my second pregnancy. I obviously didn't want to be with him, my other daughter was only 8 months old and I was freaking out but I did it. I now have two amazing little girls who are my world. They are amazing and they love their little brother to death. I had to move into income based housing, get on food stamps, medicaid, etc.... I furnished my home via Goodwill & free stuff. I ate a bunch of ramen noodles to be able to give my kids more. I clearance, thrift and yard sale shopped. I worked my butt off & fought to find the best childcare.
    BUT I am a happy, healthy mommy of those amazing children now and I am SO GLAD to be! :)

    It will be a struggle, but you CAN do it!

    Please message me if you need support, I'm here for you!

    Answer by Memigen at 12:25 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

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