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2 Bumps

What would you do if your ex kept calling you, showed up at your house without yor permission and said that he would kill himself if he could not have you in his life? He makes it really hard to have a boyfriend because of the visits he makes to my house and with the phone calls. Any suggestions would be helpful.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Sep. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • call the cops this might turn into something even bigger like hurting u since he is saying he would kill him self

    please be careful been threw this myself message me if u have any other questions
    cnoble927

    Answer by cnoble927 at 1:24 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Tell him he's not welcome at your home, even send him a certified letter saying so. Then every time he shows up tell him to leave or you will call the cops... then do it if he doesn't leave. He is essentially stalking you. You can get a restraining order if the cops keep having to be called.

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 1:25 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • my ex fiance did this... i lied saying i moved to az and changed my phone number and email and facebook- deleted my myspace.... now im married and living in cali so no way for him to find me cause my last name is different as well. it took almost a year before he kept bothering my friends to find out where i was. lucky for me once i said i moved he left my parents house alone (cause thats where i moved back too after leaving him) good luck girl!!! call cops when ever he shows up and down answer door if yu can
    pinkdena

    Answer by pinkdena at 1:26 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • He is manipulating you. It sucks that he is suicidal, but he is using that for manipulation. I would tell him that we can be friends, and that you don't have to be completely out of his life, but that you want you OWN life, not his life. Let him know that you don't like being manipulated by his suicidal tendencies. It's really not your problem if he wants to end his life, but he is trying to make it your problem. Next time he threatens suicide, call the police & let them know. I can't STAND whiny men who feel so sorry for themselves. He needs to grow some balls & move on. NOTHING is more unattractive than severe insecurity & lack of self worth. He sounds pathetic. I would put my foot down if he didn't get the picture. If talking to him won't work, i would get a restraining order. The LAST thing i want is a full grown baby sobbing at my front door threatening suicide. Ridiculous.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:28 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I would tell him to go ahead and kill himself. I told that to my ex bf ... guess what he's still alive. Once they realize you don't care they usually stop. Unless he is mentally ill and in which case my suggestion sucks!
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 1:28 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I also went through this, even had to get a temporary restraining order. He was calling my home 60 times a day, I called the cops. He was suicidal, which means he can also be homicidal. If you are willing to kill yourself what is stopping you from killing someone else. You need to do something about this, do you have kids?? Is he the father?
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:28 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • First I would get a restraining order. Keep a video camera near the door so that you can record these intrusions into your life. If your state allows it, have him barred from your property. If there are no children involved, change your phone number to an unlisted number. If there are children, add a line for your self & if phone calls aren't specified in your custody order, see if you can add it & turn off the ringer on that line except during the time he is allowed to call the kids.
    There is a wonderful site for getting help with problems like yours. It is the Single Parent Access & Resource Center (SPARC) It started out as a father's rights site & evolved into a site that is dedicated to helping people get along & be good parents. Check it out. Here is the link. www.deltabravo.net
    I hope this helps. Good luck & God bless.
    1bionicgranny

    Answer by 1bionicgranny at 1:33 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Don't answer his calls. Don't answer the door when he comes over. If he won't go away, call the police. I had an ex that did try and kill himself. We had been together for several years and were engaged. He started college and started using drugs and said he wanted to date other girls. I couldn't be with him under those conditions. He thought he could have me too.


    I started dating someone else soon after he and I broke our engagement. He decided he wanted me back but didn't want to stop using drugs. He was the love of my life but I said I couldn't live with drug use, my parents were alcoholics and used drugs (it was the 70s). He overdosed and came to my apartment. I took him to the hospital where I worked 2 blocks away and he almost died. He was in ICU a long time.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 1:34 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • honestly, i'd get a restraining order...you can't live like that !
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 1:39 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • It was a bad situation for me because I worked there as a medical lab tech and his sister also worked in the lab. I worked evenings and I would have to go and draw these special blood tests from him from an artery in his groin because no one else could do it. His sister and everyone blamed me and  thought we broke up because I started dating someone else. His parents were rich and got it listed as an acidental OD so he wouldn't have psych care.


    He was failing college without my help. After he got out of the hospital I paid for him to take EMT training and drove him to classes. I left town and went to a college 3 hours away. He went on to become a paramedic and love his job. He has worked for the hospital since 1977. We have never gotten over each other. We've both been married and divorced. That's my crazy stalker boyfriend story.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 1:40 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

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