Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

so im 35 weeks pregant & me & my boyfrined are having alot of problems

im not sure what to do he wont work he runs my family down all the time he make me feel like shit there not much longer till the baby will be born she due November 20th ive put up with this for so long. will he change after the babys born? ive tryed & keep trying to put up with it so she will have her dad around what should i do i need a outside advise

Answer Question

Asked by redivy at 6:38 PM on Oct. 13, 2008 in Relationships

Level 5 (73 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • It's a tough call. Some men mature when they see they're baby some men get worse. It like you're in a pretty sticky situation though. I know how hard it is to leave when you're pregnant and you've looked forward to being a family for so long. But if it's really bad then you don't want your baby around it, do you? Everybody can sit here and tell you to leave and most probably will but like I said I know it's hard. You have to do what's best for you. Do you have friends or family that can be there to support you? That would be my best advice. Try talking to him too. If he's a real man and a good man then he'll listen and understand. If not, then that might give you an insight as to the type of father he is going to be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • Honestly, he may get worse after the baby is born. Or he could totally straighten out. If he wont work now, knowing what's coming with a baby, what makes you think he will work once the baby is born? You have to ask yourself if it is really worth all the heartache and aggravation he's giving you.

    Answer by vbruno at 6:44 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • thankyou soo much

    Answer by redivy at 6:45 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • No he won't change. He's been allowed to act like this for a long time. It's not going to change when there is another mouth to feed. He'll just expect you to keep doing what you have been doing, taking care of business.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:23 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • He might change for a short time after the baby's born. Once the excitement subsides, he'll likely be back to his norm of putting you down, especially during stressful periods.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • honestly i doubt he will change. men don't change their ways for anybody. they change for themselves. he is just sticking it out with you cause he feels he has too but he doesn't love you and he doesn't love this child either. he is just in love with himself. he is young and immature and you should leave him or better yet consider adoption so that she has a better home and one with both parents who can provide a secure loving family. it doesn't sound like your able cause he will not provide now and won't later. i'm not trying to be mean but think of the baby and her best interest aside from yours. it's such a selfless love to do but in the end your rewarding and loving that baby with so much more then you or him will ever provide. a secure roof and warm quite bed. also a bright future not a bleak one like your facing today or tomorrow.

    Answer by melody77 at 7:44 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • well i can take care of her. im not thinking about giving her up i love her & i will be a great mother im just having problem with my bf trying to see if i should be with him or not.
    & i probably wont

    Answer by redivy at 8:44 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

  • I don't think so , he might get worst due to stress cause he have to take care of you and baby. But i hope he change before or after the baby comes . If he don't , take out child support and let that loser go on.

    Answer by teonia35 at 8:51 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.