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2 Bumps

How to cope?

Yesterday I had my baby(YAY!!). He weighed 8lbs and 7ozs. I was all alone for the delivery, my df works out of state, and my placenta retained again! I had to the OR to remove it and it was very horrible to be all by myself. I miss my df soo much but we really need the money from his new job! They wont even let him be on the birth certificate until he is back in NY to fill out papers and what not, which wont be for at least a month. I'm just soo filled with saddness of being by myself in a time when I really needed him. He feels terrible. I just dont know what to do!

Answer Question

Asked by SabrenaLeigh at 2:30 PM on Sep. 6, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 22 (14,998 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • All people need money but he could have taken a family leave from work to be there for u and the baby. It is the law!!!! His job would not have been in trouble.

    Answer by dancer at 2:34 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Do you have any family near you? SUrround youself with people that love you

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 2:36 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • This too shall pass dear. I know it seems horrible but you just had your baby and hormones are their own beast right now so you must take a breath or two or three right now and repeat to yourself that God has blessed you with a brand-new miracle, you're both well and breathing, you have a place to live, food to eat, friends to cry and laugh and vent with and a guy that cares and loves you so take heart, this too shall pass. Also, eat chocolate whenever you feel the need. Dark chocolate is better for you though. Its true that it is always darkest before the dawn but wait for that baby to look at you and recognize you and you realize nothing is as important as that moment and life is good. Breathe dear, just breathe.

    Answer by PeachPie22 at 2:43 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I hope breastfeeding is going well. If there is a La Leche League group in your city you can call a Leader and she will talk to you. Or. you can look online and find any Leader in your state to call. A Leader will talk to you even if breastfeeding is going ok. LLL is about everything about mothering. You can go to meetings and make friends. LLL was my lifeline.

    I had my third baby alone. We moved while I was pregnant and then I became ill and my 2nd husband deserted us. An old friend came to be with me for the birth. It was very high risk compared to my all natural first two births. My baby was premature and I was sick and had no family. I made new friends. Strangers heard about me and helped. I hope people help you. Don't refuse offers (of course don't leave your baby with strangers).


    Answer by Gailll at 2:56 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • That sucks. I spent the last 3 months of my pregnancy alone with the kids while my husband worked in another state and it was awful. And I was also living with my dad so had some help (although most of the time he created more stress and work for me). I was so lonely. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't come back for the birth.
    Just try and take it easy and get online when you can. If you have no family to help at least you can reach out to people online.
    Good luck. I hope things get better for you. And congrats on the new baby.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 3:54 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I'm sorry you are feeling so alone. Does he have internet access where he is? You can both sign up for free Skype accounts and do video chat to stay connected. Talk to him about your feelings. Take this time to bond with your baby, who is a part of your DF (I'm assuming he's the dad, if not then disregard that part!)

    Do you have family or friends? Try to remind yourself that it is only temporary. If you have no one close to you, join a group here on cafe mom (preferably a smaller one) and get to know the ladies in it, you can form some good friendships that way.

    But yeah, definitely do some video chatting with DF!

    Answer by Arkaidy at 9:30 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

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