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How would you??

How do you get your SO to stop stressing about all the work he has to do. My SO is a beef rancher, and has a lot of responsibility.. The cows are our livelyhood...but he stresses about everything... how much hay he has, if the cows have enough mineral, if the calves are growing the way that they should...I try to help him out as much as I can with a 2 yr old running around... There's always meals on the table whenever he gets in(most of the time its after dark), the house is always clean, I rake hay for him, and give the cows mineral when he asks me to.... which he also has a very difficult time actually asking for any kind of help at all, I pretty much have to beg him to help.

 
BradensMom1026

Asked by BradensMom1026 at 3:24 PM on Sep. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,603 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I know that his stress worries you. But you should count yourself lucky to have a man who cares so much. I think with experience he will learn that there are things he can control and things he can't. Just reassure him that things will be ok no matter what!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 5:06 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

  • He has a lot of responsibility, it's only natural that he stress about t. He wants to take care of his family. You're being supportive.

    I understand how you feel. My Ramone has a small shop, but business is poor - people cannot afford to have work done in this economy. He also works as a picker, fruits and vegetables depending on what is in season, in order for us to have enough to get by. He gets very stressed. I rub his shoulders and remind him that we've always gotten by, no matter how lean things get, we make it work together. We're a team.
    yoliplus6

    Answer by yoliplus6 at 3:27 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I read the book "love and respect" recently and it made sense to me and explains why your man stresses. All he wants in the world is to take care of you. No matter how hard things get, tell him how much you appreciate and respect all the things he does. Hopefully it will help him relax.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:35 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Sometimes that's just the way people deal with things. Some act stressed, but it's their way. Is his Dad like that? He may know of no other way with dealing with everything other than acting stressed. You sure are at his back in helping him, not much more you can do, but just listen. It would be nice if he could change his way of excepting things and start pro-acting instead of reacting. You can't change him hon, he has too. Sounds like you got a great caring guy tho.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 3:41 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • i know how it is.... my husband is the same way. he's so concerned about the future of our family and financial security. it caused him to work so much it was really stressing me and the kids as well because we would only see him a few hours a week. it got so bad that i was thinking about leaving and we had a long discussion and now things are much better. obviously you know him better than i do..... what kind of things does he find relaxing? he needs a way to let go of his stress when the work day is done. like i told my husband, you're going to work/worry yourself to death (or at least a heart attack or stroke) and i don't want that to happen for you to get your priorities straight. i really wish you luck, sometimes you have to be hard to get through to them. it's hard for them to realize that they're working so hard to help the family that they're actually hurting the family
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 3:48 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • His dad and mom are nothing like that...they don't stress about things at all... They are about the most loving people you will ever meet...My SO is very tough on the inside, and according to his friend and family, i'm the only one who has ever been able to get under it, I know he loves me, and I love him. He's been a father to my son, and its more than i can ever ask for. I just want to be able to help him relax a little.
    BradensMom1026

    Comment by BradensMom1026 (original poster) at 3:45 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • For some reason most men do stress about the everyday things... just keep offering your help and try to just be there when he needs you...
    MzGeorgiaPeach

    Answer by MzGeorgiaPeach at 5:28 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Sounds like he just wanna make sure his family is well taken care of. You just be supportive and let him vent help when you know he needs help with things. You gonna have to figure it out cause he may not tell ya. Try and set up a date nite for you guys are have a spa day where you pamper him and let him know you're thankful for all he does.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 8:57 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

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