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cant get over the fact he will never be there.

So about 6-7 years ago i had a friend w/benefits our booty calls lasted for about a year n a hlf, it got to the point to where he would tell me that he loved me n i loved him n he would get mad whenever i would try to end our whatever relationship we had, he would go to my home n tell me not to ever leave him n all, i actually thought he loved me, now i end up getting pg, he wants nothing to do w/me, i have my ds& hes in love w/him for about 8months, then he tells me that hes not going to be in his life that it was just sex n walks away, my ds is now 4 n he has never been in his life, im still hurt about this even though i have found someone who is willing to be my sons father, im scared that when my son finds out about his biological father he will be hurt,i cant get over the fact that he left my son yet, we still have contact he looks me up in fb n texts me everynow n then but wont be in my sons life

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gabby06

Asked by gabby06 at 5:59 PM on Sep. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,830 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think this is one of the worst things about having "friends with benefits". He got the benefits until there was responsibility involved, then he split. The person who suffers the most is your child who should have both a mommy and a daddy who love him and each other.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:04 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • End all ties.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 6:06 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • i never had a fwb that didn't use contraception with. that's not the kind of relationship to raise a child in. it's too late to look back now so you have to make the best of your situation you can't make him be your son's father but you can make him pay child support. and i would.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:07 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Too late to change anything now ... and won't help to spend time regretting past decisions. How do you expect to get over it when you're still having contact? Let it go.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 6:17 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • That's very sad, I'm sorry.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 6:26 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • you know what- do you really want someone like that in your childs life? probably not. i would for sure take him for child support. i think any man that can leave his child without care- isn't really a man at all!
    john2007

    Answer by john2007 at 7:07 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • It's his loss, not yours, having a child is a precious gift, and finding another man who is willing to be your son's father is also a special gift... Just love your boys up until they can't take it anymore.... If I were in your shoes, I would cut off all contact with your son's biological father, if he walked out on you and your son, screw him, you have more than he will ever have
    BradensMom1026

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 7:27 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Will your ex fwb sign over his parental rights? He should, if he's not willing to be in your DS life, pay child support, etc. If he's not willing to do that, he's an even bigger heel than you already thought. Hopefully he will, and you can make a HUGE deal about your man adopting him, assuming he's willing. Then you play up the fact that his Daddy (not the sperm donor/bio dad) CHOSE him, which makes him really, really, really special, almost luckier than any other kid because they didn't get picked like he did. You get the idea.
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 9:31 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Im sorry but you should just end the relationship with him
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 10:14 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Let me ask you a question. If you were the child, had a dad like this so called baby donor, and he rejected you, would u want him in your life? You can explain to your son that this man didn't want children but you and your future husband does. If you start telling him now, when he is of age, he won't even have a thought about the donor. Others are right as far as getting him to sign over parental rights now while he's in this frame of mind. Otherwise it could come back to bite you when he does have a wife who can't have his children and wants to go after the one you do have. Trust me, I've seen it happen! You need to protect your son, your self, and this man who loves you both. Once his name is on the birth certificate, it will give him the confidence of being a part of both your lifes because you trust him with the one you love the most...your son! I'm so happy you found someone who'll love you both! Enjoy!!
    Prayerpartner

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 3:06 AM on Sep. 7, 2010

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