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What would you do if you were in my position ?

Back in high school ( about 6 years ago ) I dated this boy ( for 3 years ) . We were each other's first loves ( and other firsts ), but then he did some things I wasn't to fond of and we had a bad break up ... of course now we are both grown ups with families... the problem is, him and his new wife ( who is from another state) just moved in across the street from me and her and I have became friends and our kids play together.... I dont think she knows that me and her husband were together, and at first I wasn't going to say anything because I assumed if he didnt tell her ( it is really obvious that she does not know ) , but I am also worried that if she finds out later she would be mad ( we live in a small town and almost everyone knows that me and this boy dated since most friends are people that he and I went to school with ). I was thinking of just saying something about it but just play it off or * continued below*

 
AmericanaQueen

Asked by AmericanaQueen at 6:52 PM on Sep. 6, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 10 (396 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • after reading all the other posts, I gotta agree this is the kind of thing that would be better coming from the husband, however since they moved in across the street, that could look suspicious to her and now he may not want to mention anything so it doesn't look bad. There's all kinds of reasons he may not tell her, so just let it be if it comes up later, just have a plan of attack at the ready to defend that it was over and that's that. :)
    KariLyn84

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 7:14 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Ask her if he has ever mentioned it. If she says no, just tell her it was no big deal, as it was years ago. Do not bring it up a second time. If she asks you anything about it, just say you really can't remember because it was so long age, and you have been living your life, not sitting around thinking about him all these years.
    A.Perry

    Answer by A.Perry at 6:56 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • How awkward that the two of you have become friends and you weren't up front with her right from the start! Well, I'd say you should tell her ... what's a friendship without honesty?
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 6:57 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • If ya'll really live in that small of a town, then she might already know. & Just doesn't want it brought up. Id talk him first about it to see if she knows. I would be pissed if I found out that I moved across the street from my hubby's ex & no one told me...I wouldn't be upset if I was told ahead of time. In fact Im friends with a few of my hubby's ex's...

    But ask him about it first, to see if he's told her. Maybe she's just really cool, & it doesn't bother her.....
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 6:57 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Seems like its his place to tell her
    dragonlady320

    Answer by dragonlady320 at 7:04 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • if its nothing to worry over, stop worrying about it. If she finds out and brings it up just assure her that its water under the bridge and you're all grown ups now. Why would anyone else bring it up. If you two are friends, DO NOT confront her husband behind her back, because that would look like maybe there is a bit more than just history. Never be sneaky when it comes to a married man. Trust me, wives don't appreciate that shit. Just let sleeping dogs lay and enjoy your new friendship. If she confides in you things about their sex life or things you feel maybe you shoulndt be privy to- just politely tell her that's a bit more than you want to know about their relationship. Any decient person would respect that,
    KariLyn84

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 7:09 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Something to make her know it isnt something to be upset or worry over......What do you think ?
    AmericanaQueen

    Comment by AmericanaQueen (original poster) at 6:53 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Don't bring it up at all. Hopefully it will never come up. If someone else happens to tell her, look all innocent and tell her that you thought she knew and that you thought that she didn't care because it was over many many years ago (if you say it this way- many many- it seems longer than if you say the number.)
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:58 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I'd ask him first. If she does know and just doesn't care, it'd seem strange for you to bring it up. There is no reason to put questions into her head for no reason. Does it really even matter?
    HistoryMamaX3

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 6:59 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Well I am never around him alone... and one time when we were all together she asked if I knew him in school ( we were in different grades) and the ex looked like a deer caught in headlights... it is just things she says that makes me know that she doesnt know.... they have only lives there going on 2 months so it really hasnt been that long -- but she comes over for coffee ( and for the kids to play ) about 3 times a week or so...so I know that if that continues we will end up being close... that is why I think that I should tell her, but on the other hand I think that fi he wanted her to know he would have told her ( which also makes me think maybe she could be easily jealous or something, being the reason he didnt tell her )

    and it was years ago and it isnt like we are going to run off together... it is very odd seeing him now ( this is the first time sense high school ).. but I just dont know...
    AmericanaQueen

    Comment by AmericanaQueen (original poster) at 7:02 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

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