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HELP constant tantrums and VERY defiant!!

I'm VERY concerned with my son's behavior!! He's 2 and since he turned 2..everything has changed with his personality. I've heard of terrible 2's...but THIS is just extreme!! He's getting angry about everything...throwing tantrums over everything! Example..he wanted his chair on the couch, I said no so he had a HUGE screaming tantrum on the floor and was trying to put his chair (toddler chair) up on the couch. I took him and put him in his chair for a time out, and he still screamed and cried for at least 5 mins or more. He said no to EVERYTHING...and anything he doesn't like, sets him off. I'm at my wits end...can you please tell me WHY my son is going off about everything. I don't yell, I remain calm..I talk in a normal voice, I get down to his level to talk to him too. I have no idea what I can do at this point, other than time out. Please any advice?? And please tell me you have the same issues!!


Asked by aidansmyheart at 7:29 PM on Sep. 6, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • Oh honey, I know it's awful, isn't it? But, guess what....he's normal! *gasp* LOL He doesn't have the skills yet to tell you what he wants and just how important it is to him. He doesn't know that the chair on the couch is extremely dangerous.
    You don't say exactly how old he is, so I'm guessing he hasn't been two for long. He's finally realizing that he has a will and an opinion, and that he can express them as he so desires. Remove the audience, which is yourself (and the chair, in the above example) and I bet he will stop. At this point, you CAN NOT give in, or he will learn that he can pitch a hissy fit and get his way. DO NOT GIVE IN! You are doing exactly what you should be doing. Way to go! It will get better! it just might take a little time before he learns that he can't get his way by doing this. Good luck, mama, hang in there!

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 7:39 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • I had the same issues and still do to a point... also make sure he's not tired... my son was like that more often when he was in need of a nap.. Otherwise, just be consistent and take time out yourself--that's very impt so you don't lose it.. and get out of the house with him to do something fun.. sometimes they act out less when entertained....

    Answer by momofonelilguy at 7:33 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • same here my son has tantrums like that too but it is usually when he is tired....but talk to you dr about it too

    Answer by jesslovesyou08 at 7:37 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • unfortunately, I don't have experience on this one, but I've seen it enough. Sometimes you have to just pick your battles. Let him put his chair on the couch, when he falls off, he'll decided thatit's not a good idea. Kids his age ARE capable of this kind of discovery. I let my son start figuring things out for himself when he was two and it makes the world of difference. This might not be the best battle example, but a general rule is that if it's not really going to hurt anything, just let it go- If he's not talking yet, it could just be that he's overly frustrated with not being able to communicate his needs- that I did have with my son. He was my first born and I ended up spending a lot of time each day teaching him what new things were and often if he couldn't say the word, he'd go get his books and show me the picture! Give him choices also, offer him two things you know he likes and let him pick one or the other.

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 7:40 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • Con't: Letting him have choices lets him feel in control of his own environment. Kids his age are learning a whole lot of independance and they don't always know how to handle things. Good Luck!

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 7:41 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • thanks ladies, this advice is great, nice to hear he's normal. He is my first born he turned 2 on June 14th. He's a VERY good talker...he's already forming 8 word sentences clear, the other day he said " daddy what's that dirt digger shovel doing there, daddy" at a construction site, where they removed the shovel off the end of the back hoe. He say's everything and anything...He's quite advanced verbally. It's just this strong will he has, and he doesn't like being told No...even when I try to reason with him. I do take him out every day, we go for a walk...collect stones for his dump trucks, we go the park a few times a week too. And again in the evenings with his dad. He goes to my mother's 2 day's a week and there's a huge yard and toys..he get's to explore while walking all around...almost all day!! I guess this is just his way of telling me he wants it his way.

    Comment by aidansmyheart (original poster) at 8:21 PM on Sep. 6, 2010